


Together

by westviewpeter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21926164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westviewpeter/pseuds/westviewpeter
Summary: What if Bucky never fell off that train? What if Steve caught him?What if Bucky was never The Winter Soldier? Or is that a fate he can never escape....
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 32
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

“BUCKY!”

The train was moving fast. 

Steve was filled with panic as Bucky fell out of the gaping hole on the side of the train car they were in. Bucky was lucky enough to catch on to a metal pipe still attached to the open wall.

“STEVE!”

“BUCKY, GRAB MY HAND!” Steve extended his arm toward Bucky, trying not to fall off himself. Bucky cried out and slipped. He was only hanging on with one arm now. 

“BUCKY, SWING TOWARDS ME!” Steve cried out, leaning out as far as he could. Bucky tried to move his body to swing side to side, raising his right hand to grasp Steve’s. Their fingers touched, but slipped out.

The train was moving fast.

“AGAIN!” Steve yelled out into the rushing bitter wind. Bucky, using all his strength, swung once more, and firmly grasped Steve’s hand, and he sure as hell wasn’t letting go. 

Steve pushed on the side of the train to lift up Bucky and push both of them away from the hole. The both collapsed, Bucky landing face first on top of Steve, both breathing hard. Bucky buried his face into Steve’s neck and held onto Steve as tight as he could, but that didn’t stop him from shaking. Steve gave Bucky a tight hug, looking up over his shoulder. Tears were stinging his eyes.

“I thought I lost you again.” Steve’s voice was quiet. The train was moving fast and the wind was howling. Bucky still heard him clearly. 

Bucky got up off of Steve and pulled Steve to his feet. 

“Come on,” Steve looked into Bucky’s eyes. “Let’s finish this.”

* * *

Steve and Bucky were in the Hydra bomber, and just took out all of the pilots and crew. 

“Bucky?” Steve just got rid of the last Hydra pilot and was now looking for Bucky. 

“I’m good!” Bucky called out, now in Steve’s sight. He looked a little out of breath. “I think that’s all of ‘em.”

Steve gives a nod and heads to the cockpit. They did it. They actually did it. All they had to do was turn the plane around and send Howard their coordinates. He and Bucky get to rest knowing Hydra is defeated. They get to relax a little more, knowing that they still have each other.

Steve tries to steer the plane, but nothing happened. Slight panic surges through his body. He realized he can only move the plane vertically. Steve spotted something on a screen in big letters: “AUTOPILOT”.

“Steve what’s wrong? Let’s get out of here.” Bucky is now next to Steve, looking over his shoulder. Steve looks over to Bucky, “I can’t.”

“What?” Confusion and worry clouds Bucky’s face.“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I- I can’t, Bucky.” The situation now sinking into Steve. “It won’t move.” 

Bucky’s face shifts from confusion to clarification and dread. 

“We have to put her in the water Buck.”

He’s silent.

Steve looks back to the control panel. He radioed to Peggy and told them what happened and what Steve and Bucky must do. 

The plane was now traveling downwards.

Silence.

“Peggy?” Steve said, his voice cracking. “I’m gonna need a rain check on that dance.”

“ Alright ,” Peggy responded softly. A pause.  “A week next Saturday, at the St- “

Static.

“Peggy?” 

Static.

“Peggy?”

Static.

“Steve?”

The plane was heading downwards.

“Thank you for saving me-“ 

Steve quickly turns toward Bucky. “Buck stop, don’t do that-“

“-as far as everyone knew, I was dead but you still came for me,” he was looking at Steve now, tears clouding his vision. “Why did you come for me if you didn’t know if I was even alive-“

Steve interrupted him with a hug, the contact triggering Bucky to squeeze his eyes shut, tears to fall down his cheeks. He hugged Steve back as tight as he could. 

It was silent.

It felt like the whole ship was holding its breath.

They can both feel the altitude dropping fast.

Steve closes his eyes and buries his face into Bucky’s shoulder.

The high pitch whir of the aircraft was getting higher and higher.

Everything started shaking violently.

The same thought inhabited both of the soldiers heads.

“It’s the end of the line.”


	2. Chapter 2

Light.

That’s the first thing Bucky sees when he opens his eyes. Light everywhere. It’s so bright. He shuts his eyes again.

_ Is this heaven?  _

Bucky rubs his eyes and opens them again slightly, trying to regain his senses. His eyes finally start dilating and can make out some shapes in the room. After a few minutes he realizes he’s in the hospital. Or, more like a small bedroom.He’s laying on a twin bed, the sheets made and tucked in. There is a door right in front of him and a dresser to the right. And a window with the view of the city.

Bucky sits on the side of the bed with his feet on the floor, groaning at how stiff his muscles are.  What happened?

He racks his memories, trying to think of the last thing he remembers. His head feels like mush. He runs his hand through his hair and lets out a deep breath. 

That was the first red flag.

It smells so.. clean.

Usually anywhere he went smells like cigarettes, at least a little bit. He peered up to the open window. He can hear the city, but he can’t smell the city. His head snaps to the left as he hears the door opening. 

A woman with wavy brown hair steps in and quietly shuts the door. She’s wearing a short dark tie that matches her skirt, and her shirt is tucked in. She’s wearing bright red lipstick.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky just stared at her. He doesn’t know why this woman looks so familiar. 

“Where am I?” Bucky’s confusion shown through his voice.

The woman smiled. “You’re in a recovery room in New York City. How are you feeling?”

Feeling. “Um.. okay,” He responds slowly. “A little tired.” He looks down in front of him. He remembers feeling cold. Feeling distressed.

“Would you like a glass of water?” The woman interrupts his thoughts. He looks up at her again. “Uh, yeah- I mean, please.”

She gives a nod and starts heading out the door. “Wait.” 

She stops and looks back at Bucky. 

“Is your name.. Peggy? By any chance?” For some reason that name stuck in his head when he first laid eyes on the woman.

She chuckles. “No, I think you must be thinking of someone else. Was she your girlfriend?”

Bucky’s trying to remember. Girlfriend? As much as he played around with girls, he doesn’t think he ever had a girlfriend.

“No, no she wasn’t my girlfriend. “ He pauses. “She dated someone else actually, my friend...”

His face flashes in Bucky’s head.

Steve.

_ Steve. _

Cold. Shaking. A plane falling. Steve hugging him. The Hydra bomber.

He remembers what happened.

“Steve.” Bucky’s breathing hard now, eyes wide. “Where’s Steve?”

The woman looks down for a brief moment and gives a suspiciously guilty smile, trying to act normal. “He’s resting in another room. I can let you know when he’s awake if you li-“

** BBAAEEEH BBAAEEEH BBAAEEEH BBAAEEEH - **

Suddenly the whole room is filled with the sound of an alarm. The woman’s face falls into shock and starts reaching for something at her side. Bucky runs to the open window and looks out. It’s a.... screen? There’s a solid concrete floor the same level as the room he’s in. He jumps out as he here’s the woman calling after him and runs. 

Bucky takes in his surroundings. He was in a smaller room inside a giant warehouse size room. He ran toward the only doors he could see and just kept running. The building he was in was nothing he’d ever seen. Everything looked weird, even the people and how they were dressed. Bucky knew nothing on what was going on, the only thing he knew to do was to run as fast as he could. And he did just that. He shot a quick glance behind him and saw guards chasing him, making him more determined. As he rounded a corner he crashed face first into three guards. Bucky groaned, getting over shock as they grabbed him firmly. Bucky started yelling, struggling, but no matter how hard he tried, their grip wasn’t loosening. Suddenly, Bucky felt a small sharp pain in his neck, and started to feel woozy. His movements slowed, his eyelids were dropping. Finally, his body became limp. Right before Bucky blacked out, a dark face was looking over him. This face was different from the others. All Bucky remembered was... an eyepatch. 

* * *

“Well come on, I don’t wanna explain everything out in the middle of the street.”

Steve got shot back to reality when the man spoke. He felt reeeaally uneasy about this whole situation. It must be some type of trick. He was dreaming. He’s on drugs.  Something.

Was he really asleep for 70 years?

“Uh, who are you exactly?” Steve looked at the man up and down. He had dark skin and was bald. He wore all black, and had an eyepatch over his left eye. Steve wasn’t sure he wanted to know the story behind that.

“My name is director Nick Fury. I run the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Directorate, or S.H.I.E.L.D. for short.We’re the ones who fished you out of the ocean, Captain.”

Steve just stared.  70 years?

“Care to join us now?”

“Oh, yeah-” Steve started. Fury raised an eyebrow. “I mean, yes sir.”He followed Fury to one of the big black.. cars? They both got in and the cars drove back to the building where Steve woke up in.

The ride was silent.

The information was still sinking in to Steve’s 1940’s brain. He didn’t know what to think, what to do. Everything was different now. He looked out the window. There were so many colors and loud noises. On the side of some of the buildings there were giant bright moving pictures. Was there magic in the future?

Steve remembered his friends and buddies from the war. They must be all dead now. He realized he’ll never see them again. Howard Stark was kind of young, maybe he’ll be an old man by now. Steve tried to stifle a grin thinking of seeing his friends all elderly when Steve was his young fit self. Peggy, oh Peggy. Was she alive? He’ll have to look into that-

Bucky.

Steve’s head shot up, eyes wide. Was Bucky alive? Did these people find him too? Did he die in the crash? He didn’t have any enhancement powers like Steve did, does that mean he died? Steve started to visibly breath faster, looking at Fury who was sitting across from him in the car. Fury was looking down at some small rectangle, tapping his fingers on the surface. He glanced up at Steve and noticed his worried face.

“Your friend’s alive.” He put down the rectangle. “He wasn’t fooled by the little 1940’s stunt either. He made quite a scene. We’re taking care of him, don’t worry.”

Relieve surges through Steve, but now he has even more questions. “Bucky’s alive? How?”

“We scanned his DNA and found they were tampered with. Similar to yours in fact.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “You mean, he’s enhanced like me?” 

“That’s what we know so far. His file says he was kidnapped by HYDRA way back when....”

Fury’s voice drifted from Steve’s attention. Of course. They must’ve started experimenting on Bucky when he was captured. 

“...we’re here Captain.”

Steve noticed the car stopped. He followed Fury into the building and they went into this big glass elevator. The building must’ve been, jeez, 50 stories? The elevator stopped and Fury led Steve down a corridor. Steve, because of his enhanced hearing, heard voices from a room they were heading toward. One was a woman, she sounded annoyed. She kept denying anything the other voice was telling her. He listened to the second voice. A man. As they got closer to the room he could make out some words.

_ “..... who are you........ Steve..... wh.. your problem......” _

Steve already knew who the male voiced belonged to before he entered the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky was growing impatient. He knew Steve was alive and here, he knew that much. But these people? They didn’t seem like the friendliest type. They knocked him out for christ sakes. At least the lady watching him was trying to be nice. They were in some conference room, and they were the only two people there. Bucky was sitting in one of the chairs at the large table while the woman was leaning against the wall next to the doors. Bucky examined her. The woman was blonde and had a stern face, but Bucky couldn’t read off of her at all. Every question Bucky asked, she answered as politely as she could, and that was nice at least. But the woman couldn’t take her eyes off of Bucky, and that’s what was bothering him the most. She wasn’t checking him out, no, Bucky was used to that. The woman was a hawk staring at her prey, and if he moves an inch, she would attack with no mercy.

When Bucky realized he couldn’t get any answers out of her as to where he was or what happened, he moved to his second tactic: flirting. That one really confused Bucky because he couldn’t get through to her, and flirting always works when he wanted answers. But she wouldn’t break. This woman was starting to drive him crazy. Bucky decided to move onto his third tactic: just start annoying the shit out of her till she says  anything .

“You know what? Hey, lady!” Bucky sat up in his chair. “What’s your name.”

While Bucky was trying to get answers out of the woman, she decided Bucky wasn’t much of a threat to stare at him 24/7, which was relieving to Bucky. After a while, she resorted to looking down at this small black flat rectangle that she was tapping her fingers on. Bucky had no idea what it was, but it was better than her staring straight into his soul. 

She decided to answer him without looking up from the rectangle. “Uh, Anthea.”

Bucky noticed she hesitated answering the question. “That’s not your name, is it.”

She smiled without looking up to him. “No.”

Bucky let out a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. The woman seemed to notice he was frustrated, because she put her rectangle in her pocket and went to sit down across from Bucky. 

“Hey, look at me.” She waited for Bucky’s attention. “My name is Sharon, if you really wanted to know for whatever reason.”

“Well listen,  Sharon ,” Bucky sat forward, putting his hands on the table like they were at a conference. “I don’t know  what’s going on, or where I am, or where  Steve is, so if you could tell me any of that so I’m not sitting here confused as  fuck , that would really be great.” He tried to be as annoying and demanding as possible, but Sharon was just sitting there with her arms crossed. The expression on her face looked like she was thinking hard about something, examining Bucky. 

“Ok,” she sat forward, “you wanna know where you are? You’re in Washington D.C., about 70 years into the future. We found you and Steve frozen in ice from the plane crash.”

Wait,  what?

Bucky’s brain felt like it short circuited. He let out a chuckle. “Wh- what? You’re crazy, what are you talking about?” He was starting to grow nervous. “What do you mean seventy years, wait- SEVENTY YEARS??” He stood up and backed away from the table. “What year is it??”

Sharon sighed, “It’s 2012. We found you and Steve a few months ago and you’ve been recovering since.”

Bucky was starting to actually freak out. He suddenly didn’t trust these people more than he did before. He stared hard at Sharon. “Who are you? What did you do with Steve? Where is he? What-“

Sharon looked behind her as the door suddenly opened. Bucky looked up to see a familiar looking man with an eyepatch. Bucky was so concentrated with anger and confusion that while he charged for the man, he didn’t notice who was following behind him into the room.

“YOU.” He rushed toward him. “Who are YOU? What is this?! Why the fuck did you knock me out?! And then you don’t even tell me what happened?!?”

Bucky would have gone on for much longer, letting all his anger out, but it was immediately diminished by what he heard next. 

“Bucky?”

Bucky looked over to his right and his jaw slightly dropped. He was speechless. Looking at Steve, into his eyes, the memories of their last moments together started flooding back. The thought that they were both going to die, but they were going to die together. They both had each other and that made it a little more ok. And now they were both alive, standing next to each other once more. Bucky couldn’t help but pull Steve into the tightest hug he ever gave him since the train. Steve hugged him back and was just silent. “Steve..” Bucky let out a whisper, he had to say his name. They both let go, remembering there were other people in the room. “Uh,” Bucky started, “how are you feeling-“

They were interrupted with a booming voice. “You boy’s can finish your little hug fest after we’re finished talking.” He looked over to the woman. “Carter, you’re dismissed.”

Sharon looked relieved as she headed towards the exit, but before she left the room she gave a weird look to Steve. Not a bad look, it was something like she wanted to say something to him.  _ Probably because he’s Captain America _ , Bucky thought. When there were only the three in the room, Fury ordered them to sit at the table. Bucky was hesitant to follow his orders, but when Steve walked forward to sit down, Bucky followed. 

During the meeting, which was essentially about what happened to them and who S.H.I.E.L.D. is, Bucky couldn’t help but to glance at Steve every 10 seconds. He looked the same as when Bucky saw him last, obviously. But no matter how much concentration Steve was giving to Fury’s presentation, Bucky couldn’t help but notice the emotion hiding under Steve’s stern, military face. Bucky could always pick out when Steve felt uneasy, it was the same as when Steve got into arguments with guys and he knew he was gonna get beat up later in some alley, but didn’t tell Bucky because he didn’t want Bucky to worry. But Bucky always found out, no matter how well Steve tried to hide it. Looking at Steve now, being in this foreign place even though it’s the same planet they were both born on, made Bucky’s heart ache. For the first time after gaining all that muscle and strength, Bucky saw that Steve felt  vulnerable . He was scared and confused, even if he didn’t let on. Bucky felt the same way, but it wasn’t that bad because he had Steve. That’s all that mattered to Bucky. And he needed to make sure Steve knew that he had his Bucky, too.

* * *

Steve and Bucky got sent back to their living quarters, which they apparently had in the building. Near the end of the meeting, Nick Fury gave them modern day telephones, or cell phones. He showed them the basics, but both Steve and Bucky were confused as hell. When Steve asked the question, “so, can you call the internet?” was when Bucky was pretty sure Fury has gotten an actual headache from these two. Now they sit in their own small apartments, feeling distant even though they were only across the hall from each other. Maybe it was because they were so used to being roommates and just having another presence in the household, someone to talk to, to spend time with, or sometimes to hold in bed when one felt lonely. Steve sighed as he took out his phone and swiped the screen to “unlock” the phone like Fury told him to. They were told about having photos, music, and text communication (called texting) but either of the boys have yet to try it out. Since Steve is bored out of his mind and is dying to talk to Bucky, he opens up the messaging app.

**Punk:** Bucky?

 **Jerk:** this is steve 

**Punk:** What? No, this is Steve.

 **Jerk:** no i was asking you if youre steve 

**Jerk:** i am bucky 

**Punk:** Why didn’t you just use a question mark?

 **Jerk:** i dont know how to

 **Punk:** Click the numbers in the bottom left corner of your keyboard.

 **Jerk:** oh?????

 **Punk:** Looks like you found it.

 **Jerk:** ??,,!!???!!??,,!!!!????

 **Punk:** Ok stop.

 **Jerk:** /@@:&:&:&;$&,&:&$/)268;8-&;$7/&,&&2&&,&,&&/&’298:&:&&:$:

 **Punk:** 😒

 **Jerk:** how did you do that

 **Punk:** The globe icon next to the numbers.

 **Jerk:** oh

 **Jerk:** I thought that just made the keyboard round or something 

**Punk:** What? Why would it do that?

 **Jerk:** I don’t know 

**Jerk:** 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

 **Jerk:** I like this one

 **Punk:** 🐶

 **Jerk:** is that a rat

 **Punk:** That’s a dog you idiot.

 **Jerk:** shut up

 **Jerk:** how are your living quarters

 **Punk:** Not bad.

 **Punk:** Kind of lonely if I’m being honest.

 **Jerk:** yeah mine too

 **Jerk:** do you want me to ask fury if we can share an apartment or something 

**Jerk:** i doubt the guy would budge though, he’s annoying

~~**Punk:** Ask him, or I’ll sneak over to you myself.~~

**Punk:** Why don’t you punctuate your texts?

 **Punk:** You also don’t capitalize...

 **Jerk:** should that matter? we’re not in grade school anymore steve 

**Punk:** Ah! Punctuation!

 **Jerk:** asshole

 **Jerk:** I did it for you, apparently you can’t tell the difference between a statement and a question 

**Jerk:** why would I say that I’m you when you know I’m bucky

 **Punk:** You could’ve gone off much better if you stayed as Steve :)

 **Jerk:** wow

 **Jerk:** i am: insulted

 **Punk:** That’s not how you use a colon.

 **Jerk:** hey you didn’t answer my question from earlier

 **Punk:** It’s getting pretty late, I think I’m going to bed.

 **Punk:** Good night Bucky.

 **Jerk:** good night stevie

* * *

Stevie.

The word swirled in Steve’s mind. It’s keeping him from falling asleep.

Stevie.

He remembers when Bucky used to call him Stevie. Before the war. The days when they both came home from work. Bucky would set up a fire because it got cold out by the time dusk hit. They would sit together on the couch, in front of the fire, and just talk about their day. Steve would lean slightly on Bucky’s chest as Bucky’s arm would be across Steve’s shoulders. Their positions were subtle, but they both sensed their presence. Steve thought about the first time he mentioned joining the army to Bucky. They’d always talk about it to each other, more like a dream than an actual plan for their future. This time was different.

“I wanna join the army,” they were both looking at the slow burning fire, their eyes glazed with thoughts and sleepiness.

“Heh, me too; we’ll be fighting side by side, killing every Nazi in sight,” Bucky answered in a lighthearted tone, repeating what they’ve always joked about when this topic was brought up.

“I’m planning to go to the recruitment next month.”

Bucky positioned himself and sat up a little to look at Steve. “Wait, you’re not serious?” His voice had a light undertone of worry.

“Of course Buck, why wouldn’t I be?” Now Steve sat up to look at Bucky’s face, and Steve’s expression changed into concern when he saw Bucky’s furrowed brows. 

“You-“ Bucky let out a nervous chuckle. “You can’t do that, you won’t even make it past recruitment.” 

At those words Steve tore his gaze from Bucky and leaned forward, running his hand through his hair. He obviously knew his weight and body frame was very much less than average, but that somehow increased the urge to fight within Steve. He sighed. 

“Buck, we don’t need to have this conversation-“

“Yes we do need to have this conversation because you can’t go out there just like that.”

Steve turns back to face Bucky, both starting to get heated, and not from the fire.

“Oh yeah? Says who?”

Bucky hesitates.

“Says me.”

They stare at each other. Steve’s lips were sealed tight and Bucky’s jaw was clenched.Moments passed. 

Bucky’s gaze went soft and he relaxed his jaw. “Steve..” 

Steve still had that stern look plastered on his face. He kinda felt bad, but there was a fire in his chest, urging him to be tough. Sometimes he doesn’t know if he was being tough for others to see, or himself.

“It’s just dangerous.” Bucky’s voice has gotten quieter now. 

“Well that doesn’t matter to me, I-“

“It matters to me.”

Bucky interrupted Steve again, this time catching him a little off guard. Steve’s gaze softened as well when Bucky started to continue.

“I- I just-“ Bucky shut his eyes and took a deep, shakey breath. Steve noticed he had some trouble getting his words out, which rarely happens with smooth talking Bucky. His voice was quiet, even breaking a little. “I can’t lose you, Stevie.”

Stevie. It was so much more than a word or nickname. Only Bucky called him Stevie. When they were sure they were alone, living comfortably in each others presence. Even Steve’s mom never called him Stevie. When Bucky called him that, it filled Steve’s heart with warmth. It reminded him that Bucky wasn’t just another guy or friend that he hung out with. He was so much more than that. He was his home. 

“Buck..” Bucky opened his eyes to look into Steve’s. They looked tired and worried. But mostly they were filled with something else, something stronger. Something Steve would later find out to be love. 

Steve reached out and ran his hand across Bucky’s cheek. “Buck, I’m right here, it’s ok. Cmon, you look tired, let’s go to bed. Together, yeah?”

With a slight nod, Steve and Bucky stood up from the couch. Steve quickly doused what was remaining of the fire with water and they made their way to their own rooms to change. This didn’t happen too often, sleeping in the same bed. But when it does happen, they both cherish it as much as humanly possible. Those are the nights they sleep the best, the mornings they’re in the best mood in. Steve goes into Bucky’s room when Bucky get’s under the covers and Steve follows. 

Steve is looking at Bucky’s face, half a foot away from his. “Good night Buck.” 

Bucky answers,keeping his eyes closed. “G’night Stevie.” 

Bucky’s breathing becomes steady in time, and Steve knows he’s fallen asleep. 

Steve sometimes wishes he was small again, because of moments like those. Because of Bucky. Steve’s exhaust takes over as he drifts off into a dreamless sleep, with no one to sleep beside him in his big, cold, foreign bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload, we had a lot going on for New Years and all
> 
> Did you find the Sherlock reference in this chapter?
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Punk:** Where are you?

 **Jerk:** im coming, chill out

 **Jerk:** i dont wanna look like shit in front of these guys

 **Punk:** You? Not looking like shit? That's rare.

 **Jerk:** haha

 **Jerk:** shut up

 **Punk:** Make me. XD

 **Jerk:** ........ dont type that again

 **Punk:** What, XD? I'm trying to get hip with the generation!

 **Jerk:** god why did they give you a phone

 **Punk** : Just hurry up. The meeting's about to start.

“Finally, someone who speaks English.”

Steve tuned out of the conversation at this point. He, Thor, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, and Natasha Romanoff were all around a conference table aboard their flying helicarrier.Nick Fury had asked him and Bucky to be apart of “The Avengers Initiative” to help save the world, something or other. Both Steve and Bucky had been training for a few months so they said yes. They also said yes because they didn’t feel like Fury’s proposal was much of an option. Apparently some demigod named Loki stole an item called the tesseract and can use magic and what not; bottom line is they have to stop him.They were both eager to get their first mission, Steve a little more than Bucky. The thing is, a few days before they had to head off to save the world, Bucky, that little bitch, got sick. And no, it wasn’t just an annoying cold that creeps on you for a few days. At first, he just had a really bad cough and felt dizzy at times. But then Steve walked into Bucky’s apartment the morning before they left to hear Bucky puking in the toilet. The puking was only for a couple days, and a few more days after that, Bucky’s temperature dropped below 100゜F.Of course, Bucky refused to back out of the mission.As he told Steve, “I may be useless, but I won’t take that to my advantage and be an asshole.” During their time aboard the helicarrier, Bucky’s been mostly in bed instead of fighting out on the field, but at least he’s been giving his input in meetings and catching up with what’s going on.

Now, back to the meeting.Part of the reason Steve tuned out was because he didn’t understand a single thing Tony and Bruce were rambling about. Another reason was because he was doodling on a piece of paper he found. He was just drawing anything that came to mind. Loki’s helmet, as they had a run in with him earlier. A little cartoon Bucky, something Steve always doodled. Clouds, the ocean, whatever. Steve’s concentration was broken when he heard heavy footsteps coming from the corridor behind them. Steve turned to see a pale-faced Bucky Barnes, dragging his feel to the table with a blanket around his shoulders. His face looked uncomfortable and gloomy, but lit up a little when he saw Steve. Maria Hill spoke out as Bucky took a seat next to Steve, “Barnes, glad you can join us.”

“Well, I was chosen to be here for a reason ma’am,” Bucky added charm to his voice, as he always did when talking to a lady. It sounded more like attitude this time though because Bucky’s sinuses were stuffed to hell. 

“Aaand who are you?” Tony turned his attention to the newbie in the room.

Bucky looked up in confusion at the sudden burst of ego shot towards him.

“Uhhh, Bucky. Who are you?”

Tony sighed and turned over to the person closest to him, which was Maria.

“He doesn’t even know my name. You know, sometimes I feel like people don’t-“

“Tony,” Maria interrupted him, sounding like she’s gone through this tom foolery before. “Bucky was found with Steve, he wouldn’t know who you were because he was an adult before you were even born.”

Tony paused.

“You have a point.”

Maria rolled her eyes as Tony turned back to Bucky.

“The names Tony Stark. I am also Iron Man and a genius, if you were wondering what my purpose was here.”

Bucky’s eyebrows raised when Tony said his last name.

“Stark? Like Howard Stark?”

Tony’s grin faltered, but stayed plastered on his face when he answered, “Yes, he was my father.”

“Oh man, Howard was great! Steve and I went to his expo you know, he’s such a nice g-“

Bucky stopped short when he looked back up at Tony’s face staring him down. His expression went from a goofy slight grin to a death stare. Bucky suddenly felt intimidated and decided to change the topic.

“Uhh, nevermind.” He looked over at Steve, who had an equally confused look on his face. “So, hows our mission coming along.”

Everyone snapped back to the reason of their meeting.

As the meeting commenced, Bruce walked over to Bucky and handed him a vial of this translucent reddish liquid.Fury asked Bruce to make some super soldier medicine for Bucky, since regular antibiotics won’t work on him. After taking a swig of it for the first time and finding out it tasted like shit (which Bruce apologized for), Bucky asked Bruce to make it plum flavored. He carried out the request besides being confused about the flavor choice. But Bucky is eternally grateful, he’s been feeling better at a nice constant rate.

After Bucky finished his medicine, Steve leaned over so only Bucky could hear him.

“How you feeling?” he asked in a whisper.

“The medicine helps. I still feel like all my energy has been kicked the shit outta me though.” Steve gave a nod.

Bucky looked over to the table and saw Steve’s sketches.

“Is that me?”

Steve noticed what Bucky was talking about and quickly covered it with his hand. “Uhh..”

Bucky chuckled. “Dude, c’mon. It’s nice.”

Steve couldn’t hide his blush. All these years of knowing and living with Bucky, he’s never seen Steve’s art. Well, Steve showed him only what he wanted to show him, and Bucky respected that. Artists have their own privacy. He’s never seen Steve draw him though.

“Hey, you two, lovebirds. Stop flirting and pay attention.” Now Bucky was slightly blushing along with Steve when Tony called them out for not paying attention.

“Oh, uh, we weren’t-“

“Hey, chill out and just listen.” Natasha interrupted Steve and gave them a suspicious look as everyone else got back on topic. 

* * *

Hours passed and everyone was having their own personal time. Tony and Bruce were in the lab working on some fun science things and Natasha was showing Thor around the ship. Bucky and Steve were in their own rooms. Bucky was resting and Steve was drawing. However, Steve was impatient. And a bit lonely.

Ever since they woke up after the crash, Steve felt as if they were.. distant. He and Bucky still talked and hung out all the time like usual, but it just didn’t feel the same. Steve didn’t know why. Maybe it was because they are in an entirely different life, with different people and circumstances. The world just felt so much bigger and it’s like Bucky wasn’t enough to keep Steve grounded. He felt lost, alone. They were in a foreign land and they only had each other. Thinking about this just made Steve want to be with Bucky even more.

But,, did Bucky want to be with Steve? What did Bucky feel about all this?Did he feel the same way? Or is he totally cool with everything that’s happening? Steve put down his pencil, unable to concentrate.He looked on the table at his phone. He could just text him, right? Say hi. Ask how he’s doing.

_He’s probably sleeping, I shouldn’t bother him._

The anxiety was eating away at Steve. But Bucky was his best friend, right? He’d be used to Steve texting him randomly. But what if he feels differently about it for some reason? That reason Steve didn’t know.

He just kept staring at the phone, unsure what to do. Finally after minutes of pondering Steve made a decision.

 **Punk:** Hey Bucky.

 **Punk:** Are you awake?

 **Jerk:** yeah

 **Punk:** I miss you.

~~**Jerk:** me too~~

~~**Jerk:** i miss you so much~~

**Jerk:** well im right across the hall :)

 **Punk:** I mean I would but you're sick

 **Jerk:** your super serum is stronger than mine you cant get sick

 **Punk:** Oh yeah.

 **Jerk:** dumb

 **Jerk:** just come here

*knock knock*

“Come in.”

Steve opened the door to Bucky’s apartment, slowly. Their “apartments” were more like small hotel suites, it _was_ a temporary living space after all. The room was dimly lit. Bucky was sitting on the couch wearing sweatpants and a thick sweater. A blanket was wrapped around his shoulders and one over his lap. A lamp lit the book he was reading. Steve quietly shut the door and walked over to Bucky, standing next to him. Steve spoke in a small voice.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Bucky responded, looking up at Steve. Steve was looking down at the couch avoiding Bucky’s eyes, his hands in fists shoved in his sweatpants pockets. Bucky gave him a once over.

“You look tense,” his voice had concern but was still soft.

Steve relaxed his shoulders, but his body and mind were still tense. “I’m,, fine.”

Bucky moves an inch over so he was against the side of the couch.

“Here, there’s plenty of room.” Steve looked up to see a smile sprouted on Bucky’s face and his heart grew a little warmer. Steve cautiously began to sit next to Bucky, but as he sat on the couch he felt the all so familiar warmth coming from Bucky and, almost instinctively, curled up so his legs were curled on the couch and his head was laying against Bucky’s chest. Bucky hesitated when Steve did this, but then put his book down and put his other arm around Steve. He covered both of them with a blanket, and they just stayed like that.

Steve may be physically taller and bigger than Bucky, and that’s how the others may see him, but Steve felt so small right now. And that’s how Bucky saw him, how he always saw him even after the serum. He’s always been small, wholesome Steve. This felt like the nights they sat together in front of the fire. Together, alone. Just the two of them. Steve was used to being the little spoon, surrounded by Bucky. Bucky leaned his head on Steve’s, and Steve felt himself unwind inside, the stress melting away. Ever since Steve woke up in this new year, new world, he felt lost. All this baggage and anxiety has been building up for the past few months and he never got a time to let it go. They were either busy with training or Steve didn’t feel like it was the right time or moment. But something Steve hasn’t addressed was that he was scared. He was scared that Bucky wasn’t on the same page as him, that he wouldn’t be able to have Bucky to go through how he felt.

Steve closed his eyes and let out a shakey breath.

“You ok?” Bucky’s voice was almost a whisper. They were both tired.

“Yeah,” Steve answered automatically. His answer felt wrong. Steve couldn’t take it.

“No..”

Steve grabbed onto Bucky tighter, partially burying his face into his chest.

“Me neither.”

Steve looked up at Bucky’s face to see his eyes looking down, tired and drained. Bucky moved his head to look over at Steve and pulled him into a tight hug, and Steve hugged back in return. His lips were at the top of Steve’s head.

“I need you Stevie.”

Steve let that sink in.

“I need you too.”

They stayed in each others arms for a little while longer. Finally, they broke apart, their faces less than a foot away.

Steve was looking down.

“Bucky?”

He looked at Steve.

“Mm?”

“Can, um.. can I,,”

“Sleep here?”

Steve now looked up at Bucky.

“..Yeah,”

Bucky gave a slight nod. “Yeah.. of course.”

Steve nodded back and let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Bucky let out a little “c’mon” and they started to get off the couch. They walked, arms around each other, to Bucky’s bed. Bucky coughed a few times as they were walking, but when Steve gave him a concerning look, Bucky’s face told him, “I’m fine, brush it off.”

They got under the thick covers. Although Bucky was also wrapped in the blankets from earlier, he started to visibly shiver. Steve noticed and moved closer to Bucky until they were holding each other as close as they could. Steve moves himself so his head was a little below Bucky’s like he was used to. The only thing they could hear was each others breathing as they laid in each others arms, and drifted peacefully to sleep. 

*knock knock knock knock knock*

Steve was disruptively woken up with the sound of someone pounding on the door. He was so tired he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. His head was mush. His arms felt like lead, unable to move, and he couldn’t get his eyes open. He just sunk deeper into the blankets and pillows and Bucky.

 _Bucky?_ *knock knock knock knock knock knock* _BUCKY?_ *knock knock knock knOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Sadly, Steve realized, it wasn’t a dream. He slowly pushed himself up and sat criss-crossed next to the still-in-a-deep-sleep-Bucky. Steve peeled his eyes open and shut them again immediately. It was _so bright_.

_What time is it?_

Steve was too tired to actually look over to the clock and decided instead to make his way to the front door of Bucky’s little condo.He didn’t want to wake Bucky, he needed the sleep if he was going to feel better. The annoying knocking continued as Steve trudged his feet to the door.

Steve wasn’t normally a rude person, but he wasn’t really a morning person either (when he’s sleeping with Bucky that is). Steve couldn’t help but let out a ruder-sounding-than-meant-to-be “wHAt” as he opened the door, and was suddenly face to face with the one and only confused looking Bruce Banner.

“B- Steve?”

Steve leaned his forehead on the door frame against his arm.

“Hhmmmmyeah?”

“Uh..” Bruce stared at Steve, eyebrows furrowed, “why do you look like you slept in Bucky’s apartment?”

Steve’s eyes were still half closed.

“Mmbecause I did,,”

Bruce raised his eyebrows, “Oh! So you guys are... you’re...”

“What?” Steve stood up straight and looked back to Bucky’s room, then looked back at Bruce. “What? No! Oh god no! We were- I was,,,” Steve’s voice trailed off.

“You were...” Bruce lead on.

“I- Bucky was sick, and- I-“ Steve tried to unsuccessfully explain why he and Bucky had a sleep over as Bruce started to nod and interrupted him. “Ok ok, uh,” Bruce looked down, like he forgot the reason he’s here. He looked at what he was holding in his hand. “Oh!” He looked back up at Steve. “I need Bucky.”

Now it’s Steve’s turn to be confused. “Uh, why? Wait, why are you here this early?”

He gave Steve a weird look. “It’s almost noon.” Steve was about to say something when Bruce interrupted him.

“Anyway,” He held up his hand, which was holding a bottle filled with sickly yellow liquid.

“I think I can finally cure Bucky. If he drinks all of this he won’t be sick anymore!” Excitement gleamed in Bruce’s eyes.

“Oh! Really?”

“Uh,” Bruce looked back at the bottle. “I think so.”

Steve nodded “I’ll go wake him up then.” At least if this works, Steve can now stop worrying about Bucky’s sick ass not putting in the effort to get better.

He walked into Bucky’s bedroom to see a confused Bucky sitting up, his face looking like a lost puppy. His eyes rested on Steve’s and Steve stopped in his tracks.

“Where were you?”

Steve pointed behind him with his thumb. “I,, was answering the door, Bruce has a cure for you.”

His only response to that was silence, and then Bucky sneezing out of nowhere. He stood up. “Okay.”

As Bucky passed Steve, to Steve’s surprise, he bumped shoulders and grabbed Steve’s hand, dragging him to Bruce. Bruce handed the bottle to Bucky.

Bucky looked horrified. “What,, is _THAT_?”

“ _That_ is your medicine Bucky Barnes. You don’t have to drink it all at once, it is a bit much, but do drink it within 24 hours. After your next sleep you should be all good.”

Bucky was still staring at the yellow liquid. Steve noticed Bruce giving a look at Steve’s hand, still gripped by Bucky’s. Steve quickly pulled it away and looked over at Bucky. “Come on, drink it Buck.”

Bucky stares at it for a few more seconds and then gave a shrug.

He took one gulp of the stuff before almost dropping the bottle. He started gagging loudly. “Oh god, this tastes like piss” he wiped his mouth.

“Oh yeah,” Bruce was grimacing, “sorry I couldn’t make it plum flavored.”

Bucky just gave him a look you wouldn’t want Bucky to give you, and took another gulp of the syrupy medicine. Bucky’s face reflexes but he didn’t gag this time.

“Ok,” he closed the bottle. “I’ll finish this later.”

Bucky sounded like he was still in pain from the medicine, but managed to get out a “thank you” for Bruce and shut the door.

They were alone again. Bucky looked at the bottle and said, “you know, maybe I won’t drink this.”

“Bucky why?! You need to get better, we could use your help out there!”

Bucky looked up at Steve. “I don’t know.. sick days in bed with you are pretty nice.”

Steve felt his face grow warm. He couldn’t control his mouth from stretching into a bashful grin. “Well.. let’s make the most out of today then.”

Bucky raises his eyebrow. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“What? I’m just saying I’m up for sitting on the couch and watching tv all day-” Bucky perked up at the sound of that until Steve continued. “-BUT, you have to finish that before we go to sleep.” He pointed to Bucky’s bottle.

Bucky complained with a loud groan as Steve dragged him to the couch, covering themselves in blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah now we're getting somewhere
> 
> Flash forward to Avengers 1! Also Tony doesn't hate Bucky's guts yayyyyyyyyy
> 
> I'll try to upload every day from now on since I already wrote a big chunk of the story and it's just sitting in my notes


	5. Chapter 5

“WHO ATE MY PLUMS!”

Steve jolted from his nap and looked up from the couch to see Bucky standing over a fruit bowl, empty except for one banana. Just a normal day at Avengers tower. Tony was making his morning coffee and Bruce was sitting near Steve, reading a book.

Tony glanced up to see Bucky’s beady eyes preying him down.

“You know I don’t like ‘em, Barnes,” he answered, looking back at the coffee he was brewing.

“Well SOMEONE had to have eaten them! Plums don’t just grow legs and walk away!”

No one bothered answering when Natasha entered the common room through one of the elevators carrying a gym bag and a towel over her sweaty shoulders. Bucky started to go off at her but got interrupted.

“Cool it Barnes, I was in the gym all morning,” she grabbed the single banana from the bowl and headed back toward the elevators.

“Wait, Nat how did you know we were talking about Bucky’s plums?” Tony turned his head toward Natasha, who just raised an eyebrow and said to no one in particular, “I need a shower.” The elevator doors closed.

Steve was still laying on the couch, all warm from the morning sun shining on him. He opened his eyes and glanced at his watch. “Hey Buck, it’s not even nine yet, why do you want plums this early?”

“Yeah, that’s a good question,” Tony chimed in, grabbing a mug. ”And why haven’t you asked Steve if he stole your plums? Just cuz he’s your best bud doesn’t mean he wasn’t hungry for a plum.”

“Steve knows not to touch my plums! He doesn’t even _like_ plums!”

“ _I_ like plums,” Steve retorted back from the couch.

“Well-“ Bucky stopped short, trying to think of something to say. He sighed.

“Steve?”

“Hm?”

“Did you take my plums?”

“No, why would I do that?”

“See?” He looked back at Tony, who was pouring his coffee, looking unconvinced.

He mumbled with his mug up to his mouth, “could be lying.”

Bucky just sighed out of frustration and ran his fingers through his grown out hair. It hasn’t really gone past his ears but it was longer than he’s had. Just didn’t get around to a haircut I guess.

Bucky looked up at Bruce.

“Bruce, you haven’t moved a muscle since I walked in the room.”

Bruce just sighed, eyes still on his book. “Look, I’m just reading this book, you guys take care of your problems.” Bucky opened his mouth. “No Bucky, I did not take your plums.”

Bucky just sat at the counter and stared at the empty bowl. The room was silent for no less than five minutes. Tony was leaning with his back to the counter, drinking his coffee while staring into space.

Tony finally broke the silence. “Hey, any of you heard of something called HYDRA?”

Steve practically jumped off of the couch and Bucky snapped his head towards Tony.

“ _Why?_ ” Bucky’s tone was dead serious, it almost scared Stark.

Tony put down his mug. “So you do know what HYDRA is?”

Steve answers this time, sitting up on the couch.“They were Nazi’s, in World War 2. Buck and I helped defeat them. Why do you ask?” His face showed concern.

“Well,” Tony was a little hesitant now, noticing how much the mention of HYDRA affected the both of them. “Yesterday, I was researching through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files and database and all that other shit Fury hides-“

“You mean hacking?” Steve corrected him.

“Chill Steve, everyone has their hobbies,” Bucky muttered back.

Tony raises his eyebrows in approval at Bucky. “Thank you! Anyway, I found a folder that basically had HYDRA written all over it. Didn’t really look into it, I had a feeling that no matter how good JARVIS is, someone could’ve still been watching. I was just wondering if anyone else know what HYDRA was.”

Steve walked over to the counter Bucky and Tony were at. “Well, we should definitely look into it. If HYDRA is still alive, that’s a real problem.”

“Well is there anyone from your time that could keep HYDRA up and running?” Tony asked Steve.

“I’m not sure, S.H.I.E.L.D. did capture a HYDRA scientist who experimented on the tesseract-“

“Steve?” Bucky arms were resting on the table, hands balled into tight fists.

Steve looked over at Bucky and noticed his sudden change of temperament.

“Can we, uh, talk about something else?” Tony looked at him a little confused when he continued, “I mean, let’s wait and continue this with the rest of the team, y’know?”

Steve was looking at Bucky’s fists when he remembered Bucky always used to do that to keep his hands from shaking.

“Yeah yeah, of course. That makes sense anyway.” Bucky’s eyes gave Steve a little ‘thank you’. Tony just shrugged and went to got more coffee.

“Uh, I’m gonna head to the gym,” declared Bucky as he walked over to the elevator.

Clint walked in from another room and stopped when he noticed everyone, even Bruce, was staring at him.

“Clint?” Steve asked carefully, “are you eating a plum?”

Clint looked down at his hand holding a half eaten plum. Not to mention there were purple juice stains on his shirt.

“Uh yeah.. why?”

He raised the plum to his mouth and stopped mid bite when he locked eyes with the most enraged creature you could ever lay eyes on, steam coming out of his nose and his eyes piercing through your soul-

Oh, it was just Bucky.

He only got out one sentence while the elevator doors were closing on him: “This means war.”

Clint just stood there frozen with fear and confusion. He looked back at Tony and Steve who were just staring at him.

“What did I do?” He looked at the plum he was holding as if it was a foreign object.

Tony muttered to Steve, who both had their eyes locked on Clint, “Is he fucked?”

Steve shook his head. “So fucked.”

Clint threw up his arms, “WHATS GOING ON??”

* * *

Later that day, Tony called everyone to the conference room for a meeting. Well, JARVIS was really the one to announce it over the speakers of the Avengers tower. Steve was the first one there, naturally. Bucky showed up earlier than usual; Steve guessed it was because they both had an idea what Tony called all of them for. About ten minutes later the others started to show up. Each person kind of had their “assigned” seat when a conference was called. Steve always sat closest to the speaker, and Bucky always sat next to Steve. Bruce and Thor sat at the middle of the table, and Nat occupied the far end. She would be joined by Tony if he wasn’t speaking. Instead, a wary looking Clint Barton sat at the end of the table alongside Nat, giving side eye looks to Bucky. Last, but never least, Tony walked into the room.

“Dude,” said Clint as Tony walked past him. “How are you late to your own meeting?”

“Hey, I just told you guys when to be here, not when _I_ had to be here.” Tony clapped his hands together. “Okay! Glad you’re all here because this is pretty urgent.” He paused. “Uhh, a few of you are already familiar with this topic,” Tony’s eyes glanced at Steve and Bucky. Steve gave a subtle nod while Bucky was staring off into space, his mind in a less than happy place.

Tony resumed. “Recently, I have been researching through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s data and files. Ever since the whole “phase 2” ordeal, I’ve been suspicious.” Tony’s voice has gone serious now, and because that’s a pretty rare thing to happen with Tony, every single person in the room had their eyes on him.

“I believe some part of S.H.I.E.L.D. is run by Hydra.”

The only non confused faces in the room besides Steve and Bucky, was Nat’s. Her lips slightly parted when Tony finished that sentence, but her body language didn’t change. He seemed to be the only one who noticed her reaction, but decided to let it go for now.

Clint chipped in this time. “Isn’t a Hydra some monster snake thing? I thought they weren't real.”

“Hydra was a Nazi organization during World War 2,” Steve corrected him. “We, the Howling Commandos, fought and defeated them. Or at least we thought, now with this news.”

“So they’re pretty dangerous, I’m guessing,” Clint responded.

Steve gave him a nod. “Many honorable soldiers lost their lives fighting Hydra. They put up a pretty good fight.” And Bucky almost lost his life, twice. He didn’t say that out loud though, partially because when he looked over at Bucky, he could tell Bucky felt more uncomfortable about this topic than he let on.

"So, what now?" asked Natasha.

"What now is we don't tell anyone. Not S.H.I.E.L.D., not even Fury. We don't know who to trust," answered Tony. "I'll be looking more into this whole mess, but if anyone knows something, you better tell me."

After the meeting was adjourned, Natasha pulled Tony aside before he could leave the room. 

"Tony, I don't think you know what you're getting into."

"Well _I_ think I have the greatest hacking and security system in the world-"

"No Tony," Nat sighed, "Hydra is dangerous, more dangerous than we think." She made sure Tony's eyes were meeting hers before she continued. "What I _can_ tell you is Fury and I have already been looking into this. He and Maria are the only ones we can trust currently in S.H.I.E.L.D. Even we're not good enough to keep track of Hydra. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Hey, it's already been done. And we have three of the most educated people when it comes to HYDRA on our team. Plus me." Tony couldn't help but sneak a little grin on his face.

Nat just sighed. "Okay, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." She was about to step away when she added, "Oh, by the way, Thor wanted you to know that Clint wants you in the common room for something."

"Uh, okay, thanks," said Tony. Nat winked at him then left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed upload! Sometimes I'm too busy for ao3 even for the whole week. I will try to upload more frequently though! Many chapters at a time.


	6. Chapter 6

“I don’t think you should be eating that.”

Steve looked over to see Clint crouched up on top of the high wall cabinets. He was positioned right next to the doorway that leads into the kitchen/common room.

“What, are you doing?”

“Avoiding the topic, I see?” Clint shot back, keeping his eye on the door.

Steve looked down at his half eaten plum. “I was hungry.”

“Yeah well Bucky’s probably gonna kill you.”

Steve took another bite out of the plum and Clint just sighed.

Both of them heard faint footsteps approaching, and Clint shifted his position. He grabbed two metal cans and pointed them toward the doorway.

Steve was about to say something when Clint shot him an impish grin and put his finger up to his lips, signaling to be quiet. Steve watched in confusion when Thor walked in the doorway and Clint’s face fell.

“Damnit!” Clint put down his cans and defeatedly sat down on top of the cabinet, his legs hanging down. He looked at Thor who sat down on the couch next to Steve. “Well?” Clint asked in a not so silent whisper, “Did you tell him?”

“What? Oh, yes! Tony should be on his way.” Thor grabbed the TV remote as Steve watched Clint get back into position for whatever he was planning to do to Tony.

For the next five minutes, the only sound any of them heard was Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which Steve regrettably joined Thor in watching. Steve thought the show couldn’t get more confusing when a mime showed up in the episode.

Steve suddenly heard a set of footsteps nearing the common room, and a few seconds later it seemed as if Clint heard them too.Steve watched as Clint got excited, aiming his cans at the doorway. Right when they walked in Clint let loose and sprayed the victim with... silly string.

Pure mischievous glee was painted on Clint’s face as he yelled out “HA! I GOT YOU TONY!” His face changed into utter horror, however, when he found out that the person he covered in silly string was, in fact, not Tony.

Clint, Steve, and Thor looked eyes wide at Bucky Barnes himself, frozen in place with steam shooting out of his ears.Covered in silly string, he turned to look up at Clint, who let out a small high pitched “oh god” and dropped his cans. Bucky didn’t say a word, instead he picked up the cans that fell to his feet and sprayed Clint back, covering him with red and blue silly string from head to toe. He dropped the now empty cans and walked to the couch where Steve and Thor sat, still having not said a word. He saw Steve holding half of a plum and just sighed.

“Oh, so _he_ eats your plums and you’re ok with it?!?” Clint had the nerve to yell down to Bucky. Steve saw Bucky try to suppress a grin and he couldn’t help but smile. Clint just sat there in defeat as the other three were watching TV.

Bucky finally realized what was happening and, eyes still glued to the TV, whispered over to Steve, “Why are you watching this?”

Steve just shrugged. “Thor put it on.”

Bucky looked over at Thor who sat there, unblinking.

Tony walked in the room, looked around and finally spotted Clint sitting there in his own demise, head leaning against the wall.

“Hey Clint,” said Tony, as he grabbed a glass out of the cabinet Clint was sitting on. “What did you need me for?”

Clint looked down at Tony in disgust. “Nothing,” he responded looking straight ahead drowning in his own thoughts.

“Huh,” Tony said as he filled his glass up with this weird thick green liquid. He took a sip and turned towards the other three. He paused when he saw Bucky, and looked back at Clint and then Bucky again.

“What happened here?” Tony directed his question to one of the three on the couch, in which Steve responded, “I think it was meant for you.”

“And Bucky only got him back like that? I was expecting more.” responded Tony as he took another swig if his drink.

Bucky answered his question with a sly grin. “Oh trust me, I haven’t gotten him back yet.”

Tony raises his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. He walked over to the living area and looked at the TV. “Why are you guys watching this?”

“Thor put it on,” Steve and Bucky said in deadpan unison.

JARVIS interrupted whatever thought Tony was going to voice. “I do apologize for interrupting your program, but I would recommend you turn on the local news right away.”

The four of them looked at each other in confusion as Tony grabbed the remote and switched the channel.

_“-traffic and destruction in Hell’s Kitchen, Manhattan. Report witnesses say they saw, quote, “a man in a black mask” fighting a group of men. It is unclear who is the cause of the destruction and who was trying to stop it. Police are still on the scene-“_

Clint jumped down from his cabinet top and joined the others. “Hey, I might’ve heard of this guy before.”

“Black mask guy?” Steve asked, “is he dangerous?”

Clint shrugged, “Could be, if you’re on his bad side.”

“Wait a minute.” Tony moves closer to the giant screen and squinted, as if he spotted Waldo in the damage. “JARVIS, zoom in the bottom right corner.”

The screen was suddenly magnified by 10 and faces of people could almost be made out. There was one man standing around, as if he’s not bothered by what’s happening. His hand is up to his ear, as if he’s speaking into an earpiece and doesn’t want to be heard.

“Clint, can you make out what he’s saying?” Tony still had his eyes on the screen.

“Man, I’m not _that_ good.” Then, when he realized there was nothing else to do, he sighed, “I’ll try. It’s easier if it’s silent though.”

He reached up to turn off his hearing aids and stared intensely at the screen. After less than a minute he turned them back on. “I’m lost man, honestly, I don’t even think he’s speaking English.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. JARVIS notify the others.”

A loud alarm went off as Tony led the way out of the common room.Steve matched his pace with Tony.

“Hydra?”

“I’m suspecting. This mask man doesn’t sound too appealing either. Take your bike.” He pointed a finger at Steve as he rushed to his lab to suit up.

* * *

“Steve.. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Bucky was hugging Steve’s waist tight from behind as Steve sped to Hell’s Kitchen on his motorcycle. Steve glanced in his small side mirror and saw Bucky’s eyes shut tight. He sighed.

“Pull it together Buck; we’re almost there.” A small part of Steve’s brain wanted him to say something along the lines of “payback from Coney Island” but Steve figured it wouldn’t really help Bucky’s situation right now. He couldn’t help the fact that he loved driving his motor cycle.

Oh, and they were also rushing to a potential terrorist attack by some of the most evil people in the world.

 _“There’s more of ‘em than I thought!”_ Steve and Bucky heard Tony’s voice through their earpieces. Tony had already showed up at the scene a few minutes ago, thanks to his suit. Bucky opened his eyes and saw they had arrived as well, finally.

“We just got here,” Steve answered back into his earpiece, and received many “me too’s” from the rest of the team. Steve and Bucky immediately took cover behind an abandoned car, which wasn’t too hard to find at this intersection.

Bucky spoke this time, “Tony, fill us in.”

_“Already took four of ‘em down. Four guys shooting at me, and now you too. Three others got taken in that alley, and it seems like our black mask guy’s keeping them busy.”_

Bucky slowly started to peek past the side of the car to get a better look, but immediately jerked back when he was greeted by a few bullets.

“Who else is here?” Steve asked through the intercom. He got an answer from everyone but Bruce and Thor.

 _“Thor was called back to space or whatever; he didn’t really specify and it was kinda last minute,”_ Clint informed the others. _“HA! Got one!”_

As soon as Clint said that, the bullets stopped shooting at the car Steve and Bucky were hiding behind. “What about Bruce?” Bucky asked as he peeked behind him one more time.

 _“Well, this isn’t really a code green situation,”_ Natasha responded, followed by two gunshots, and Bucky saw another Hydra body drop off to the left. Bucky would help out right now, he really would, but whenever he tried to aim the feeling of nausea brewed in his stomach and he went out of focus. That damn motorcycle.

Without any forewarning, Steve stood up, shield in hand, and frisbeed it over one of the rooftops. Bucky heard a yell, then a thump as another body fell, one arm hanging over the side of the building.

“Dude, what the hell! You could’ve been shot at!” Bucky couldn’t help but react at Steve’s impulsive decision. Steve caught his shield and looked down at Bucky, just shook his head and said, “you still have silly string in your hair.” He walked out into the middle of the intersection, now only full of empty cars and rubble.

“Nice shot though,” Bucky grumbled as he combed through his hair with his fingers and stood to join Steve.

 _“I think that’s all of ‘em, I shot one down right when you guys arrived,”_ Tony announced.

Steve nodded, “That’s four.” He looked around, concern sprouting on his face. “Hey Tony, didn’t you say the black mask guy was fighting three others in an alley?”

_“Yeah, why?”_

“Where are they?”

Silence.

“That can’t be good.” Bucky muttered as Steve started walking forward to the alley in front of him.

Bucky followed and they both stopped when they saw the drops of blood on the ground. They were definitely here, but where are they now? Bucky noticed the blood was leading to a metal door on the side of one of the buildings.

Steve spoke into the intercom, “It looks like they’re in this building.” He went over to the door and rattled the doorknob. It was locked, but that’s wasn’t a problem for Steve. He took his shield and sliced the knob off the door. Better.

“Bucky and I are going in,” said Steve as he opened the door.

Bucky raised his eyebrows. “We are?” Steve was already in the building so Bucky had no choice but to join him.

They headed down some stairs and found themselves in the basement of a restaurant. Shelves of dry food lined the walls, but there was no one in here. Bucky pointed out to Steve more blood on the ground which lead to the back of the room. They follow the blood and both looked at each other when they heard voices coming from the other side of a shelf. Steve lifted a finger to his lips, signaling to be quiet. They both leaned their ears in to the shelf to try to make out what the voices were saying-

“Hey boys.”

They both jumped and aimed their guns and shield at whoever was behind them. Natasha was standing there with one eyebrow raised, hands on hips. The boys lowered their weapons and let out sighs.

“What the fuck Nat!” Bucky let out a whispered whine. He tried to shoot her an angry look, but that didn’t cover up the fact that she just scared both of them shitless.

“How long have you been standing there?” Steve sighed as he looked back at the shelf, making sure the people didn’t hear them.

“Honestly, I just got here.” She pulled out a handgun from her side. “Tony sent me to accompany you on your little mission, so here I am.”

“Why? We can handle this ourselves.”

Nat shook her head, “Oh come on, I’m the spy here. Plus, I speak Russian, so I can translate what they’re saying. So far I’ve picked up that they have black mask guy tied up and they’re trying to get some information from him. Doesn’t seem to be working.” She started heading to a door which lead further into the building.

“Woah, hey! Where are you going?” Bucky exclaimed when he saw Natasha leaving them.

She stopped and turned to them, “I’ve been in this building before, the Russian mob sometimes use it as a hideout. Now,” she pointed to the shelf where the voices are coming from. “There’s a hidden room behind that shelf. I’m gonna sneak in and get in position. When you hear my signal in your intercoms, engage.” She gave them a wink and slipped out the door.

Bucky sighed, “So, I guess we wait now.”

“Yep,” answered Steve, and they both leaned on the shelf they were supposed to bust open. “We can still listen to them, maybe one of them knows English.”

So they listened a little closer, and sure enough, they picked up on parts of the conversation.

 _“........where is it.”_ A Russian accent.

 _“I don’t know,,, what you’re talking about.”_ This voice sounded American.

_“The soldier, where.”_

_“What soldier? Is he part of Fisk’s plan?”_ He must be the guy in the black mask, Bucky thought. There was some indistinct mumbling from the other side for a few minutes. Then one of the Russian accented men spoke again, this time more forcefully.

_“Зимний солдат, ze Winter Soldier, do you know where?”_

“Winter soldier? Do you know what they’re talking about?” Steve asked Bucky confused. But when he looked at Bucky, his face had gone deathly pale.

Steve was starting to worry. “Buck? What is it?”

They suddenly heard yelling from the other side, then Nat’s voice through their ears, _“Now.”_

Their attention snapped back to the mission. Steve opened the “door” to the hidden room and hurled his shield at the nearest standing man. He dropped without a problem, but the other two put up quite a fight. Nat was trying to strangle one with her legs and the other started to shoot where Steve and Bucky were standing. They both tried to dodge the bullets and find cover. Bucky aimed for one of the men and managed to graze his arm. He realized he had no protection so he ran to the nearest piece of furniture that could cover him. But before he could get there, a bullet shot straight through his left shoulder.

“AH, SHIT!” Bucky fell to his knees, holding his shoulder with his right hand. Before the man could shoot at him again, Steve tackled him to the ground. Steve started punching at his face, but the man managed to flip him over and pin Steve to the ground, trying to choke him. Steve managed to push on the mans chest with his feet which threw the man against the wall, falling to the floor. Steve gets prepared to throw his shield at the man when he sees his lips moving.

“Hail Hydra....” he bites on something and slumps down, foaming in the mouth. Seeing that the man is now dead, Steve rushes over to Bucky who’s already been looked at by Natasha. He could feel his heartbeat growing faster when he actually processed the situation. Bucky was pale and sweaty, and he looked like he was trying not to cry out in pain. There’s a big puddle of blood on the floor and Nat’s holding a not so clean piece of cloth, now moist with blood, to the wound.

“Bullet’s still in him, it looks like it hit his bone. He needs to be operated on immediately. Tony!”

_“Almost there. Sorry, I had to fly Clint back to the tower earlier._

Natasha took a look at Steve and saw that he wasn’t taking in the situation in too well. “Hey, Steve, it’s going to be ok. You should be glad it’s only the shoulder.”

Steve just nodded, and got down to help Bucky. Natasha was putting the pressure on his shoulder as Steve held him upright against the wall. Bucky looked like he wasn’t in too much pain, but Steve knew he was just trying to keep a straight face. After knowing him practically his whole life and through the war, Steve can see how much pain Bucky really is in, and it broke his heart.

After too many minutes of trying to distract Bucky from the pain, they heard a crash followed by a flash of red and gold.

“Move.” Tony carefully picked up Bucky and carried him out. Before he left, he turned to Steve and Nat, “Take care of that guy, will you?”

Once Steve and Nat we’re alone, they realized Tony was talking about the black mask guy, who was unconscious, still tied to a chair in the middle of the room. Blood was all over his face and a few bruises were starting to form. Nat went over and put her fingers to his neck.

“He’s alive,” she said, and Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding. Most of his mind was still on Bucky, the fact that he was in pain and Steve wasn’t by his side. He should’ve looked out for him, should’ve covered him with his shield, or he should have attacked the guy before he shot Bucky....

“.....eve.. steve... STEVE!”

Steve was shot back to reality. Right, black mask guy.

“We should take him back to base, Hydra obviously wanted something from him.” She looked at Steve, waiting for an answer.

“... Right, right,” Steve ran his hands over his face. “Okay, wait so I have to carry him on my motorcycle?”

“I have my car.” She untied the man and looked up at Steve. “A little help?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's getting juicyyyyyyyy  
> Plus a cameo from your favorite not-so friendly neighborhood devil :)


	7. Chapter 7

It’s been an hour since Steve and Natasha got back to the Avengers tower. It took forty-five minutes to clean and take care of their new friend, who still hasn’t waken up yet. Fifteen minutes since Steve rushed to Bucky’s hospital bed. But to Steve, it was all sludge in his head. He needed to see Bucky. And yes it was just a bullet wound, but Steve couldn’t stand seeing Bucky hurt, no matter how small the injury.

“Steve, glad you're back.” Helen Cho walked in the room, holding a glass of water.

“Hi Helen, how is he?”

She sighed, “He’ll be ok. He lost a lot of blood for a bullet wound, the bullet _was_ pretty big. Part of his bone shattered, but with our technology it wasn’t a hard fix. He also has some super serum in him, so he should heal faster than most.”

Steve relaxed a bit in his chair and took a deep breath.A little bit of weight leave his shoulders. Bucky’s okay, it’s going to be okay.

“What about you?” Helen was looking over at Steve now.

“What? Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Steve rubbed his eyes, trying to get a certain memory out of his head. Looking at Bucky like this... god it was all coming back to him.

“Steve? Are you sure? Steve...?”

————

February of 1936. Steve remembered it clearly because Steve wasn’t the one who got sick this time.

It all started with a cough. “Hey, you ok?”

Steve and Bucky were walking home from school in below freezing weather. They both had many warm layers on, courtesy to their mothers. Snow from a few days ago covered the ground, but none had melted since. So far, this winter has been the coldest for years. For the past few weeks the temperature has gone down below 20 degrees, the wind biting at your face. Steve had a cold early December, but it wasn’t as bad as previous years, thank god. Maybe he’ll get though this winter without almost dying, he thought.

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s pretty damn cold this winter.” Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets, trying to warm up more.

“Maybe you should have tea when you get home,” Steve proposed, already knowing what Bucky’s answer will be.

“No matter how many times you try, I will NOT drink that nauseating leaf water.”

Bucky sniffled and coughed again. Steve just sighed as they continued their way home.

~

Maybe Bucky should’ve drank the leaf water.

A week has passed and Bucky is sick.

Very sick.

Tuesday, the next day from when Bucky’s cough started, he got a throat ache. He kept insisting to everyone who asked if he was ok, that he was fine, he was FINE Steve, he’ll get better in the blink of an eye.

The next day he was too sick to get out of bed. Steve was worried but kept reassuring himself. Bucky’s strong, it’s just a cold, he’ll be good as new by the end of the week.

That wasn’t the case.

It was Friday, finally, and when school got out Steve made a beeline to Bucky’s house. He knocked on the front door repeatedly until someone opened it.

Bucky’s eldest sister answered the door. “Bucky’s not here,” she told Steve before he could say anything.

Bucky? Not here? Maybe he got better overnight. Maybe he went to the school to walk home with Steve because he missed out all week. “What? Where is he?”

“The hospital, ma had to take him this morning. She said his fevers gone up high.” She looked a bit worried, but Steve didn’t think she understood the whole situation right now.

 _Oh no nononono._ Steve ran off before she could say anything else to him. He headed straight to the hospital. It was cold and the hospital was more than just a few blocks away, but Steve didn’t care. This is bad, very bad. Bucky never got sick. It was always Steve. Why couldn’t have Steve been the one who got sick? These thoughts infected Steve's brain the whole way to the hospital. Steve made sure to not run too fast, because the last thing he needed right now was an asthma attack. The only time he stopped before getting to Bucky’s room was to ask where his room was. When Steve saw him, his heart dropped to his feet. He was pale as a sheet, dark circled under his eyes. His breathing was slow and congested.

————

Steve remembered he couldn’t believe this was happening. Thankfully, Bucky got out of the hospital after a week. Bucky was normal after that, never got sick again.

Looking at Bucky in the hospital bed now, it sent Steve back to that year, that miserable winter....

“Steve?”

“Hm? Oh god, sorry,” Steve just realized how deep he was in his own thoughts.

Helen sighed, “I was just saying Bucky should wake up soon, we didn’t give him much anesthesia because the surgery didn’t take long.”

As if on cue, Bucky’s eyes opened and he let out a groan. Steve shot up in his chair and leaned over Bucky, trying to keep calm.

“Bucky? Hey, how you feelin’ Buck?” Steve furrowed his eyebrows, his protective motherly side was taking over again.

“I’m fine, punk,” Bucky said with a grin. “One nasty bullet wound to the shoulder ain’t gonna kill me.”

“Ah,” Helen held out the glass of water she’s been holding all this time. “Here, you should drink. Are you sure you’re feeling ok?”

Bucky nodded and thanked her as he took the glass of water. “That’s good. Now, I’ll check up on you soon, it’s just I have another patient to look over, and he looks in worse shape than you, believe it or not.”

When she left the room, Bucky’s “I’m fine, quit worrying” look melted off his face and he slumped down in his hospital bed.

“Woah, Bucky, you sure you’re all right? Should I call Helen-”

“Steve, I’m fine,” Bucky stopped Steve as he was halfway out of his chair to leave the room. He chuckled, seeing Steve in that weird squatting position, “Stevie, I’m fine, I’m just tired and my shoulder hurts like a bitch, but I’ll be ok.” Steve hadn’t moved, which made Bucky chuckle again, “You can sit down now.”

Steve didn’t realize what he was doing and quickly sat down, blush started to form on his cheeks.

“Who was the other patient Helen mentioned?” Bucky asked. “It’s not the black mask guy, is it?”

Steve nodded. “He honestly looked pretty badly hurt. And Hydra wouldn’t have been after him for no reason, right? Either he’s gotta know something or Hydra thinks he does.”

“Well, can’t wait to meet him,” said Bucky.

* * *

Steve rushed to the room Nat was in after getting her text to hurry to where she was. She was standing off to the side of where the man in the mask was laying. He was breathing hard, like he was struggling. Steve noticed his hands and ankles were cuffed to the bed.

“Not a happy customer?” Steve smirked and walked over next to Nat.

“Where am I?” The man sounded beyond annoyed. Steve was about to speak but Nat pit a hand up to his chest to stop him. Steve guesses he’s asked Nat the same question too many times.

“Look, I’m not the bad guy here, just let me go and we can forget this ever happened.”

Nat crossed her arms, “Oh yeah? One: we don’t know that. Two: you were fighting very important people back there and we need to know why, so no, we’re not going to forget about this. Three: if we didn’t take you back here you probably would’ve bled to death, so,” she leaned in closer to his face, “you’re welcome.”

The man chuckled through his nose , but it only lead him to a series of coughs. Steve was starting to grow a little concerned for him, but Natasha’s face stayed blank.

She spoke assertively, “What did Hydra want from you?”

“I’ll talk if you uncuff me,” the man said, practically interrupting Natasha. “It’s not like I know how to get out of here, I don’t even know where I am.”

Natasha looked at Steve for his thoughts. Steve just shrugged and Nat sighed.

After the man was free of his cuffs, he sat up and groaned, obviously still in pain.

“Can you tell us your name at least? Since you obviously won’t take off your mask-“

“Look,” The man interrupted Natasha, “I have places to be so if you can just let me go and we’ll call it a day, that would be great.”

The man then launched himself at Steve, attempting to knock him down, but Steve barely budged. The man obviously didn’t expect the amount of strength Steve used against him, he didn’t stand a chance anyway. Steve picked him up and slammed him down back on his bed, a little too hard on Steve’s part.

“Nice try, I think we’re gonna cuff you again,” Steve said, holding down the mans wrists on the bed while Natasha wasgrabbing the cuffs.

“No, wait!” The man huffed. “Don’t, That was just a test, I won’t try to escape, promise.” Natasha stopped and looked over at Steve, her thinking face on.

“You said that last time before you lied; and what test?” She was still holding the cuffs.

“You asked for my name? Well, I won’t tell you that, but they call me Daredevil,” he took a few more heavy breaths, “you gonna let go of me, Captain?”

Steve sighed and released his grip on Daredevil’s wrists. I guess no one needs to say aloud why he lunged at Steve, he must’ve had a theory he was Captain America. But how? They didn’t tell him their names, or even where he was.

“Daredevil? Never heard of him,” said Natasha. She sounded to Steve like she still didn’t trust the man, but then again, does she trust anyone?

“Look, and this is the truth, I thought the men I was fighting were just some street level thugs, or like the mob or something. I had no idea they’re what you said they are.” Daredevil was looking in between where Steve and Natasha were standing, almost staring into space. It almost looked like he couldn't see through the mask he was wearing, but he had to. “I understand you want to keep me here, for medical reasons and all that, but after two days, I’m gone, all right? Forget we ever met. You guys hear that?” The last sentence he spoke he looked up to the top corner of the room, where there was a hidden security camera, barely noticeable.

Something shifted on Natasha's face and grabbed Steve’s arm, pulling him out of the room at the same time Helen Cho was entering it, conveniently. She pulled him down the hall, far away enough from earshot. Steve started to say something but Natasha stopped him, holding up a finger to her own lips to signal to be quiet. She then took out her phone and started texting someone. When she pressed send, Steve’s phone buzzed, and saw Nat’s text notification on his screen.

 **Nat:** Don't talk out loud

 **Nat:** I think he has enhanced senses, or at least enhanced hearing

 **Steve** : What? How can you tell?

 **Nat:** I think he may have heard us use our names or at least mention "Avengers" from another room

 **Steve:** So he was bluffing about not knowing where he was?

 **Nat:** It's likely. Also he knew about the camera that Tony set up, which is totally unnoticeable to the human eye and only the Avengers know about them

 **Steve:** sounds like x-ray vision or something...

 **Nat:** Possibly

 **Steve:** Wait really? I was kidding!

 **Nat:** Just stay alert. We don't know what he's hiding


	8. Chapter 8

**Buck:** where r u?

 **Stevie:** Common room, why?

 **Buck:** I just got released stay there

 **Stevie:** What?! Hold on I'm coming to help you

 **Buck:** calm down punk, my shoulder got shot, not my legs

 **Stevie:** Are you sure?

 **Buck:** yes, now quit worrying, im in the elevator

Bucky seeing Steve worry about him over text made a warmth spread in his chest.

“He’ll never change, will he?” Bucky whispered to himself with a smile, as he walked out of the elevator and through the corridors.

Ever since they were kids, Steve always made the effort to stick up for Bucky, even though Bucky was always the one in between Steve and whoever was picking on him or beating him up that day. He always admired that about Steve. The kid couldn’t even breath right, and he’d be willing to fight someone three times his size with out standing down once. Just thinking about it put a smile on Bucky’s face that he couldn’t hide. Finally, Steve’s voice broke Bucky out of his thoughts.

“What are _you_ smiling about?” Bucky looked up and saw Steve grinning, crossed legged on the couch. Bucky didn’t even realize he was already in the common room, he must’ve subconsciously walked there from the elevator because of Steve’s texts.

“You,” said Bucky, walking over to Steve and not noticing who else was in the room.

“What? Why?” Steve genuinely asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Uh,” Bucky stopped short, not far from the couch. “I mean, I was kinda laughing at the way you were worrying over me when we were texting.”

Steve raised his eyebrows even higher. “Oh so you think me worrying about you is funny?” he scolded teasingly, even though he knew Bucky wasn’t trying to insult him in any way.

“No! Ugh,” Bucky started to raise his hands to his face but yelped in pain from the movement from his shoulder.

“Woah!” Steve shot up from the couch and hovered his hands over Bucky, afraid to cause him any more pain. “You ok?”

“Yeah, ah,” Bucky winced as he reaches for his left shoulder with his right hand. “It just needs time to heal.”

Steve smirked a bit, “And you said me worrying about you was funny.”

“No! No, I just-“ Bucky sighed and looked at Steve. “I just thought it was cute, the way you still look after me all these years,”he said with a slight chuckle. Steve’s complexion went soft. He then widened his eyes and looked over to the counters, where a man that Bucky didn’t even notice before was standing. He had cuts and bruises on his face and was leaning on the counter, drinking out of a mug.

“Woah! Who the fuck are you?!” Bucky started charging toward the man but Steve stopped him, grabbing his right arm.

“Bucky! It’s ok, he’s Daredevil.”

“Who??” Bucky couldn’t be any more confused at the moment.

“I mean- the guy with the mask. He was pretty beat up so we brought him here after Tony left with you. Sorry, I thought you saw him when you walked in.” Bucky looked at Steve and his face did genuinely look sorry.

“Daredevil...” Bucky repeated slowly, inspecting him. He was still drinking from his mug and still staring into nowhere, not having said a word. The man was average height, had a strong build though. Kind of familiar too.

Bucky nodded his head at the man, “You a boxer?”

Daredevil’s mug stopped midway to his mouth. He set it down on the counter. “I hit the gym from time to time. Why do you ask?”

Bucky squinted his eyes, understanding that this man wasn’t the sharing type. “No particular reason,” he was about to continue when Tony walked in the room, followed by Clint.

“WELL, well, _well_!” Tony leaned his elbows on the counter so he faced Daredevil. “Looks like devil-boy decides to ditch the mask.”

Daredevil smirked, “Well you guys are kinda keeping me here, so I might as well get comfortable,” he paused. “Oh, and call me Matt, I never liked ‘Daredevil’ anyway.”

“Alright, _Matt_ , I have a question for you.” said Tony as he brought out his phone. “Do you recognize-” he brought up the photo of Hydra symbols and held it in front of Matt’s face. “-THESE symbols?”

Matt stared at the screen for a few seconds before he responded, “I don’t know what symbols these are.”

“You’ve _never_ seen these before?” asked Tony again, trying to get _some_ answer out of him.

“Nope, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” responded Matt, somehow still keeping a blank face. Bucky noticed that he was trying to keep his mouth from sprouting into a grin.

“Then how come you were fighting people represented by these symbols, _and_ they even kidnapped you?” Tony was sounding more confused and miffed at the fact that Matt didn’t seem to know anything.

Matt shrugged, “I didn’t really see anything.”

Tony raises his eyebrows, “What, because of the mask? Hey, look at me while I’m talkin’ to you, would ya?” 

“Hey Tony?” Tony, Steve, and Bucky all looked at Clint, who they seemed to forget he was in the room with them. Clint was staring at Matt, slightly squinting his eyes like he was a judge inspecting a piece of art. He took a step forward closer to all of them.

“Clint what is it?” asked Steve, who was caught a little bit off guard from the fact that Clint wasn’t joking around for once.

Tony sighed and looked down, closing his eyes. “Clint, now is not the time to check the man out-“

“No, it’s not that, although I was right he’s not bad looking-“ Matt raised an eyebrow. “But-“ he turned to Matt, “-excuse me if I’m wrong-“ he tuned back to the other three, “- I think he’s blind.”

All of them looked at Matt and saw a grin slowly spreading on his face. He nodded his head in Clint’s direction. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Clint,” said Clint.

“Clint,” responded Matt, nodding his head. “and, let me guess, you have some kind of hearing impairment?”

Clint’s hands shot up to his hearing aids. “What? I- I mean yeah, I’m deaf.” He looked at the other three, shocked. “How did you know?”

Matt waives his hands around as he spoke, “I heard the feedback in your hearing aids. See, because I’m blind, my other senses have sharpened and that’s what I use to get around. They’re exceptionally better than most other blind people because I’ve had specific training.” Everyone was watching Matt as he continued his lesson, pointing to the upper corner of the room, “for example, I can hear the whirring of that security camera,” Bucky assumed there was a camera there because that camera, like the one in the hospital room, wasn’t even visible.

Matt continued, “I also know someone is in the other room, listening in on this conversation,” Matt pauses and nodded when Natasha, defeated, walked into the room, surprising the other four.

Matt looked at Steve, “I can even hear heartbeats, like I hear yours rise every time your boyfriend enters the room.” Steve and Bucky snapped their head at each other. Bucky was really confused until he noticed Steve’s cheeks were flushing with pink. Seeing that, Bucky felt his own face grow warm.

Wait...

Steve looked at Matt, eyes wide, “WHAT? No no no,” he choaked out a chuckle that sounded more like he was going to have an asthma attack. “We- we’re not dating, I mean he’s not my-“ he looked at Bucky and back to Matt. “We’re JUST friends, what are y-“

“Oh!” Matt was the shocked one now, and to Bucky he looked quite embarrassed. “Oh no, god, my bad, sometimes I get stuff wrong,” Matt forced a chuckle. “Sorry, forget it.”

The room was silent, leaving Bucky alone in his thoughts: What on earth was THAT? Steve was probably embarrassed when Matt said boyfriend because we’re best friends, and it’s weird, right? And he’s only dated girls, and _I’ve_ only dated girls; but what about the heartbeat thing? I mean yeah, I’m happy whenever Steve walks in the room because we’re _best friends_ , right? That’s how it works? We probably just have a _really_ strong friendship, I mean we did live together, and we like to hug, and it always makes me happy when I see him smile, and cuddling him always feel nice when we’re alone, and we share the same bed...

Oh.

_Uh oh._

“Alright!” Tony clapped his hands together, slapping Bucky out of his thoughts and making him jump a little. Bucky stared at Tony, trying not to look at Steve who could feel was standing a little farther from him before.

“You know what, I have a plan. Meeting in 10 minutes in the conference room. We need to talk about Hydra since they wanted something from _you_ for some reason.“ He pointed at Matt. “That’s for everyone. Dismissed!” Tony strolled out of the common room and left everyone else standing. Nat, who had been leaning against the wall since Matt caught her, suspiciously looked at the group huddle, then followed Tony.

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He started to walk out of the room when Steve spoke.

“Buck?” He gently touched Bucky’s right shoulder which caused him to jump a little. Steve quickly pulled his hand away, “Buck? What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” Bucky rubbed his eyes with his right hand. “It’s- I’m just gonna rest a little bit, my shoulder.” He looked up at Steve and saw such a deep emotion in his eyes, but he couldn’t quite place what it was. “I’ll see you at the meeting, yeah?”

“Yeah, ok,” Steve nodded, letting Bucky leave the room leaving Steve standing there alone (Matt and Clint were there too but they were in their own little conversation about god knows what, totally not paying attention to Steve and Bucky.) Bucky wasn’t exactly lying, his shoulder _was_ aching from the surgery, but he also needed to clear his head.

 _You know what?_ Bucky thought to himself. _This isn’t the time. There’s a meeting we have to go to, and we have to talk about Hydra, and no matter what, Steve’s my friend, and I’m here for him. I have to think about this later, it’s only going to interfere with work._

Bucky took a deep breath and laughed to himself from the irony. Since when did Bucky prefer to think about Hydra over Steve?

* * *

The meeting was less awkward than Steve expected. Everyone was sitting in their usual spots, and Thor's chair was taken up by Matt. Bucky was acting pretty normal too, considering what just happened fifteen minutes earlier. Steve is pretty sure everyone noticed his face flush a bright shade of pink when Matt called Bucky his boyfriend.

Steve had always loved Bucky. Ever since they were little kids, Steve felt a connection between them, and he knew it was something special. Even when they argued, which was never about something that serious, did they ever separate for more than a day. Then, at the age of 16, Steve fell, and he fell hard. He noticed his heart pumped faster, his breaths grew shorter, whenever he was around Bucky. Whenever Bucky laughed, or smiled at him. Whenever they hugged and Bucky would call him “punk”. He had honestly never thought of it as strictly romantic, but he knew it was love.

But when Matt has called Bucky his “boyfriend”, a new door opened up for Steve. Even with all the girls Bucky tried to hook Steve up with, Steve never really thought or worried about any romantic relationship. The only people that mattered to him were his family and Bucky. But Bucky, his boyfriend? Steve never cared about romance or who he was attracted to, it just wasn’t on his mind. But this, it just sounded _right_ , it felt _right_.

Steve couldn’t think about this now, though. Thee were a lot more important things happening. Like, well, Hydra.

“God, I didn’t know _that’s_ who I was fighting,” Matt exclaimed, after learning about what Hydra was. “I just thought they were some street level thugs, or like the mafia or something.”

“So why did they attack you?” Steve asked.

Matt shrugged, “They didn’t, I attacked first. They did think I knew something though,” May say back, trying to recall what they asked him. "Yeah, they kept asking me about a soldier? Winter soldier, that’s it!”

“Winter Soldier? Never heard of it, anyone know what it means?” Bruce asked to the rest of the group. No one answered, and that’s when Steve remembered Bucky’s reaction to hearing those words. He was about to turn to Bucky when he spoke up.

“Me.”

Everyone turned their heads to Bucky. He was looking at the table into nowhere, distant.

“What?” Steve asked softly, confused along with the others.

Bucky took a steady breath. “Me. They’re talking about me.” He looked up at the others. “I am the Winter Soldier.”

“What? Bucky what are you talking about?” Steve turned his body to the left to face Bucky. Bucky looked at Steve, and then everyone else, who seemed to be waiting for an answer.

“Bucky,” Nat said sternly, but carefully. ”What’s going on?”

Bucky took another deep breath and closed his eyes. “When I fought in the war, I was captured by Hydra. I was expecting the usual, ya know? Torture, a jail cell, like in stories.” He opened his eyes, focusing on the air. They looked lost. “They experimented on me. They strapped me to a table and tortured me, injected me with god knows what. The kept talking about making me into a soldier, becoming a true winter soldier.” Bucky’s voice was wavering now. He looked up at Steve. “The would have kept going if you didn’t show up. When I saw you, I didn’t know if you were another hallucination or not. I didn’t know what was real. It was like my humanity was being stripped away.”

Bucky’s hands were shaking now and all Steve wanted to do was hold them in his own. But there were other people in the room and he wasn’t sure how Bucky would take it. Bucky never told anyone what had happened when he got captured, even Steve.

“I need to take a break.” Bucky grumbled and left the room. Every muscle in Steve screamed at him to go follow, but he forced himself to stay put.

The rest of the meeting was a blur. Tony even called it short and let everyone leave. Bucky didn’t come back and Steve was going to go look for him when Matt pulled him over to the side.

“Hey, sorry about earlier, I just assumed,” Matt said quietly.

It took Steve a second to understand what he was talking about. “Oh, oh yeah, you know what, it’s fine.” In all honesty, he didn’t quite want to talk about this right now. He turned to leave when Matt stopped him again.

“Look, just listen. I obviously don’t know you two personally, and this might not even be the case, but keep this advice in mind. For anyone.”

Steve hesitates and turned back around.

When Matt sensed Steve was listening, he continued, “When you have someone, someone like Bucky, don’t wait it out. Especially in this line of work? You can’t tell yourself ‘not now, I’ll do it later’, because in your case, there may not be a later.” Matt paused. “Don’t lie to the ones you love. Even if you think it’s protecting them or it’s better that way. I kinda know that from experience.”

The last part he added with a small smile, like he was thinking of something bittersweet.

“Oh, and the thing about your heartbeat is true, but the same thing happens to Bucky, too. Just thought you should know.”

At that, Matt patted Steve on the shoulder and walked past him. “I’ll let you go now.”

Steve's feet were stuck to the floor as the information Matt gave him was still sinking him. After snapping out of whatever trance he was in, he remembered what he was going to do in the first place. He ran straight to Bucky’s room and gently knocked on the door.

“Buck,” Steve whispered, “It’s me.”

A few seconds past and the door opened to reveal Bucky, eyes bloodshot and tired.

Steve’s heart sank to his feet. “Oh god, Buck...”

“Don’t-“ Bucky winced, and Steve held back. “I’m- fine, okay? Im fine.” He sounded to Steve like he was trying to convince himself more than Steve.

“No, you’re not. Buck...” Steve’s voice trailed off, not sure what to say. They stood at the doorway for ten more seconds when Bucky gave a reluctant sigh and stepped to the side, inviting Steve in.

Bucky shut the door, and before he could even fully turn around he was engulfed into Steve’s arms. Bucky gasped, surprised by the sudden hug. Steve felt Bucky’s breathing slow and eventually wrap his arms around Steve’s chest. Bucky grabs the back of Steve’s shirt like he was holding on for dear life. Steve hugged back tighter. No words were said, and Steve lost count for how long they were hugging. It felt peaceful, like the world was dark and cold, but with each other, they gave off warmth, comfort. After a while, Bucky let go slowly and led Steve to the couch. Steve put both his arms around Bucky, who curled up in Steve’s lap, grasping all the warmth he could get.

Five minutes of peaceful, comfortable silence passed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve spoke softly, as if breaking the silence would ruin the moment. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Cuz.... you had other things to worry about. I didn’t want to be a burden.”

Steve took a second to think about the answer Bucky gave him. That was the most bullshit response Steve has ever heard. “A-a burden? Bucky, you’re never a burden to me, Jesus Christ... I’d choose you over the goddamn world, even if I’m the only one who can save it.”

A few more moments passed. “Kind of a dick move to the world, huh?” Bucky chuckled. Steve have a small smile, glad to hear Bucky’s starting to feel more like his self.

“It’s true though, Buck...I....” Steve hesitated. _Say it. No don’t say it. No, say it, it’s time. No don’t, he’s not in the best mood, don’t make it about yourself. Say it!! You might not get another chance!_

“I care about you.” He turned to face Bucky. “More than anything in the world. Nothing will change that.”

A warm smile spread across Bucky’s face and his eyes lit up brighter than the stars. They held their gazes for a while until Bucky shifted his position and sat up.

“Um.. so I’m not planning to do anything this evening..” he looked at Steve. “Can you stay here with me?”

Steve couldn’t control the giant smile growing on his face. “I’d love that.”

* * *

Steve slept with Bucky that night. And the next night. And the next night. And the night after that. Bucky felt better each night, and no one mentioned anything about Hydra except for their name ever since that meeting. Daredevil was long gone by then. He just disappeared one morning and the only thing he left was a note.

_“Thanks for everything, but I got my own bad guys to take care of._

_~ M “_

“Well, it’s not like we can do anything about it,” Clint said aloud after reading the note to the rest of the team.

There was no activity from Hydra for the past few days, so everyone’s been chilling in the tower. It got to the point that when the building a block away caught a nasty fire, everyone was actually a little bit excited about it.

“Cap, you’re with me,” announced Tony as he suited up. It wasn’t the worst fire they dealt with, but bad enough where the firefighters needed some assistance. Tony carried Steve to the fire and dropped him off on the roof. Steve ran into the building, following Tony’s directions to where people were. Tony was outside, helping out the firefighters by spraying water from his suit from above.

_“That’s the last one Cap, get out of there!”_

“Copy!” answered Steve as he handed the last child to the firefighter outside the window. He was about to jump out the window himself when he heard a whine from inside the room. He looked around, but didn’t see anything. He heard it again, making it out to be coming from a closed cabinet on the floor.

“Hold on, I think there’s one more,” Steve said into his com. He opened the cupboard doors, and sure enough, an orange tabby cat was cowering against the wall as close as it could.

Steve picked up the cat and it clung to Steve’s shoulder for dear life. “Ok, I’m coming out now!” He told Tony.

Steve met back up with Tony he got greeted with, “is that a CAT??”

Before Steve could respond, he heard someone shout “MY CAT!”

A boy, no older than 13 sprinted up to Steve. “That’s my cat! Oh my god Captain America thank you so much! I couldn’t find her.”

Steve said it wasn’t a problem and handed him his cat. Steve never had any interest in wanting a pet, but looking at the boy and the cat made Steve feel some kind of tranquility. He turned to Tony when the kid walked back to his family. “We should head back, I think our work here is done.”

Tony mumbled something like “Captain cliché” before his faceplate closed and carried Steve back to the tower. After everyone got out their hugs (Bucky hugged Steve of course, followed by a tackle from Clint to both Steve and Tony) Steve noticed Bucky’s mind was elsewhere. He pulled Bucky aside and asked what was wrong.

“Oh, me? No, I’m good, I was just.. thinking about something, nothing to worry about,” Bucky responded with a chuckle, and Steve left the subject alone. However, he started to get more concerned when later he saw Bucky pull the same face when Clint was complaining about how they ran out of coffee.


	9. Chapter 9

_Harry opened his eyes; there were lanterns above him, and the floor was shaking — the Hogwarts Express was moving again and the lights had come back on. He seemed to have slid-_

**_*_ thump***

_-out of his seat onto the floor. Ron and Hermione were kneeling next to him, and above them he could see Neville-_

**_*BANG thump*_ **

_-and Professor Lupin watching. Harry felt very sick; when-_

**_*BANG THUD KNOCK*_ ** ****

Steve put down his book in frustration and let out a sigh. Ever since Steve woke up from the ice, he felt lost and confused about what people these days operate on, from food to music to books. So, he asked around, and 99% of his answers he received when he asked about books were Harry Potter.And— don’t get me wrong, he loves the series so far, he can see why it was so popular with 8 movies and- a whole theme park? Anyway, he would’ve kept reading, if he had some _peace and quiet._ This thumping from inside the walls and ceiling has been going on for at least 30 minutes, and it was starting to eat at Steve’s nerves. Finally, Tony entered the common room holding an empty mug. Maybe he can be the solution to Steve’s problems.

“Tony, can we call an exterminator?” Steve whined from the couch.

“What? Why?” Tony said, looking over at Steve as he was walking to the kitchen area. “You know Stark Tower doesn’t get rat problems.”

As if on cue, another series of *thumps* came from the ceiling, causing both of the men in the room to look up.

“Well, what would you call _that_ then?” Steve asked in an audacious tone.

“I don’t know, but what I _do_ know is we’re out of _god damn coffee_.” Tony retorted as he not-so-gently set his empty mug on the counter and walked back out of the room. Steve could hear him asking JARVIS to order more coffee as he was walking down the hall.

Steve sighed again and began to pick up his book when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked in that direction and saw a hand fly away behind the couch across from him.

“What-“ Steve muttered to himself as he attentively got up from his couch to see who was hiding from Steve. He held up his arms as defense and quickly jumped behind the side of the couch, preparing himself if there was any sort of attack.

Of course, it was only Bucky.

“Dude, what are y-“

Steve was silently interrupted by Bucky putting his finger up to his mouth. Finding Bucky only created more questions for Steve; his face looked almost like he was out at war and he was hiding behind a couch with a giant... water.... gun.

“Go back to the couch! Say nothing!” Bucky whisper-shouted, waving his hand for Steve to get out of the way.

“But- why? What are you doing?-“

“Go!!”

God, can this day get any weirder?

Steve sat back down on his couch, and just to make things more confusing for Steve, a few seconds later, the cover for the vent on the ceiling popped open.

“Psst! Steve, is that you?” A whisper descended from the vent, but Steve couldn’t see anybody.

It took a second. “Clint?”

“Yeah, it’s me! Is Bucky in there with you?”

“Uhh...” Steve looked at Bucky who was vigorously shaking his head. Steve wasn’t sure what to do- how didn’t he even get in this situation?

Steve looked back up at the vent. “No....?”

He heard a short sigh. “Are you sure?”

Steve looked back at Bucky, his face pleading and begging for Steve to stick with the lie.

_How did I end up with this guy?_

“Yes, I’m sure,” Steve called back more confidently. He heard some scuffling followed by Clint’s head popping down from the vent opening. Before Clint could say a word, his face was immediately attacked by a stream of brown liquid coming from Bucky’s hiding place.

“AAGH!” Clint yelled as he fell to the floor in result of the surprise attack.

“What? I thought you said you _liked_ coffee motherfucker!” Bucky came out of his hiding place with a devilish grin and pointed his water gun at Clint, who was still recovering from a face full of coffee.

“Steve you betrayed me, god damn it!” Clint got up and leaned on the couch Steve was previously sitting on.

“I.... I don’t even know what’s happening...” Steve trailed off, looking back and forth between the two _children_.

Bucky looked at Steve like he was crazy. “He ate my plums!” he exclaimed, “and sprayed me with silly string!”

“That was an ACCIDENT!” Clint yelled, and then yelled when Bucky pointed the water gun at him again. Clint started to run out of the common room, down the hall. Bucky began to follow, swinging his arms as he ran when he suddenly stopped short and gripped his left shoulder, letting out a painful yelp.

“Buck?” Steve ran over to Bucky who was leaning against the wall, still holding his shoulder. “Hey, you ok?”

“Yeah,” Bucky groaned. “I guess I swung my arm the wrong way or somethin’. Probably a result from when I got shot.”

Shit. “Yeah, I guess it isn’t fully healed yet. You should take it easy, okay?” Steve started to help Bucky up from the wall and Bucky just chuckled. “I’m _fine_ , it’s just a bit sore.” He spotted Clint down the hall and called out, “Take the day off, Barton. But hey, this isn’t over.”

Steve knew Bucky was probably just fine, but Matt’s words kept echoing in his head. _When you have someone, someone like Bucky, don’t wait it out. There may not be a later._

He couldn’t wait anymore. “Hey, uh, Buck?”

“Yeah?” Bucky, still leaning against the wall, looked at Steve, and right then Steve noticed how beautiful he actually was. God, that smile, and the way his blue eyes slightly squint like that? Steve could get lost in his eyes. It was just then when Steve realized their noses were just a couple inches apart. And Steve didn’t want to move.

“Uh,” Steve took a short step back, “Do you wanna.. go get a coffee or something?”

Bucky’s cheeks were still slightly pink from the close up when he responded, “Yeah, I mean, I did use the rest of the coffee we had after all.” He let out an awkward chuckle.

“I mean- we don’t _have_ to get coffee, I just- I.. have to tell you something.” He looked up at Bucky’s face, awaiting his answer.

Bucky became a bit more serious, seeing how Steve was acting now. “Yeah, of course Stevie.” Steve let out the short breath he was holding and followed Bucky.

They headed towards the elevators and Bucky held out his arm for Steve to link with his. Steve couldn’t help but grin, and blush a little, at the gesture. So he gleefully accepted without a word.

\-------

“Bucky.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and stopped in the middle of the side walk. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to tell him, now.

“Hey, the coffee shop’s another few blocks away- Stevie?” He rested his hands on Steve’s shoulders. “Hey, what’s going on? You’re kinda concerning me.”

“I-“ Steve’s voice croaked. The nervousness bubbling inside of him was going to burst any second. He took a deep breath. “I need to tell you now.”

He was looking directly into Bucky’s blue eyes. Bucky took his hands off of Steve’s shoulders and his voice softened, “Oh, okay, um... “ Now Bucky started to look nervous. “Did I do anything to upset you? If I did then I’m sorry-“

“No! You didn’t to anything wrong,” God, this was taking way too long. “Bucky...”

He looked up at Steve, as if he was looking straight into his soul.

“I love you.”

Time stood still. Suddenly they couldn’t hear anything other than each others breathing. Steve’s voice couldn’t have been softer, but he could see something shifted in Bucky’s eyes, telling Steve that he understood him plain as day.

“What?” Bucky’s voice came out shaky and almost as soft as Steve’s.

“I love you.” It started to flow out of Steve. “I love being with you. I love your eyes, and your lips... I love when you hold me at night whenever we sleep together. Before the war, I never knew how lost I was without you. I feel empty without you. All those nights after we woke up, I wanted you so bad, but I was scared. I was scared that you didn’t want me, that you were better off without me. I... I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way. And if you don’t, I understand. I just needed to tell you this because... with our lives, I might not get another chance.”

Steve waited. He waited for Bucky to say something, _anything_. That he was sorry, that he didn’t feel the same way, that Steve was being silly. But he just stared, open mouthed like the breath was taken right out of his lungs.

Then, he finally spoke. “Stevie, I would _never_ leave you.” He took Steve’s hand with both of his, and Steve didn’t say a word.

“I....”

But Bucky was cut off when Steve felt a sharp pain in the side of his neck. He looked at Bucky, and saw a dart sprout out of Bucky’s neck as he stumbled, holding onto Steve to keep him from falling.

“Wh- What the-“ Bucky started, pulling out the dart.

Steve pulled the dart out of his own neck, confused and trying to stay alert. The reason he brought Bucky out here was now in the farthest part of his mind. They just got attacked in public. As he looked around he realized they were alone, no one was on the streets with them, no New Yorkers making their way down the sidewalk. There was something very wrong here. Steve looked up and spotted someone with a sniper (assuming full of darts), crouching, trying to hide on top of a short building on the opposite side of the street.

“Buck, lets get out of here,” Steve grabbed Bucky and they ran back in the direction of the Avengers tower when they were blocked off by Hydra soldiers running toward them.

“Oh no no no no” Bucky started when the Hydra soldiers started to shoot. Steve and Bucky started running opposite of each other, looking for cover. Steve crouched behind a parked car, and that’s when he realized, they were only shooting at Steve. Bucky found a trash can and knelt behind that.

Steve caught Bucky’s eye and yelled over to him over the gunfire, “Bucky, what’s going on?!”

Bucky shook his head, sweat rolling down his pale face. “They’re after me, they _want_ me!”

Steve’s stomach dropped when he realized what was going on. Why they got shot in the neck with a dart. Why Hydra was only shooting at Steve and not Bucky. They needed to preserve Bucky, make sure he was in his best physical condition. They dumbed down Steve and Bucky’s strength so they wouldn’t be able to fight back. Steve knew it would affect Bucky more because his serum wasn’t as strong as Steve’s. Hydra wanted to separate them so they could grab Bucky without having to deal with Steve, a real super soldier. And that’s exactly what they did. Before Steve could process it, three soldiers grabbed Bucky and started to drag him to a van down the street with its back doors wide open. Bucky struggled, but he was too weak to break their grip.

“BUCKY!” Steve ran out of his hiding spot and started towards Bucky when he was showered in bullets. Considering he was hit with that dart, he dodged the bullets pretty well. But not well enough. One unfaithful bullet hit him right above the knee and he fell to the ground.

“STEVE!” Bucky yelled, still struggling at his best. There were more people on him now as they arrived to the van. One pulled out a needle gun, injecting him with something which weakened Bucky even more, making it harder for him to put up a fight.

”BUCKY!” It was the only thing Steve could say, they only word in his mind. This was like the train all over again. But, it wasn’t. Bucky didn’t fall off the train, Steve caught him. But Steve couldn’t catch him this time. Watching Bucky being pulled away by Hydra, he envisioned Bucky falling off that train, hitting the rocks and landing in the snow. Steve started to crawl toward Bucky, knowing it would do nothing. The drowsiness was clouding Steve’s head, making his muscles weaker. The last thing Steve saw was Bucky, almost limp, get pulled into the van when Steve felt a hard blunt force on the back of his head.

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well THAT happened...... I might just wait a while to post the aftermath of the cliff hanger just to torture you like a good author does :)  
> But we're nearing to the point where I haven't finished the story yet, so updates might be slower from now on.  
> Please leave kudos and comment! I read everyones comments and really appreciate feedback on my writing, I want to know who I'm writing to!


	10. Chapter 10

Steve opened his eyes. He was laying down in a bed, his head resting on a pillow. All he saw was the ceiling of what he recognized as the hospital wing of the tower. Why is he here? Steve’s gut felt heavy, yet empty at the same time. Something was really off. He shifted his weight as he sat up, and groaned when he felt the ache in his knee. 

“Hey hey hey, take it easy.” Even though the voice sounded nothing Bucky’s, Steve looked over subconsciously expecting to see him sitting by his side. Nat was sitting in the chair instead. 

Where’s Bucky? Steve racked his brain, trying to remember what happened,  anything. 

“How are you feeling? You got a nasty bump on your head, I think someone knocked you out.” Nat was leaning toward Steve on the edge of her seat, one hand on the bed.

Suddenly the events rushed back to Steve and he was no longer in the Avengers tower. All he could see was Bucky being dragged away by Hydra, and Steve couldn’t do anything about it. He was just helpless on the ground, letting his best friend get kidnapped right in front of his eyes.

The smallest glimmer of hope sprouted in Steve’s chest. If Steve was found and brought back to the tower, maybe they found Bucky just in time too, and he was just in another hospital bed. But, looking at Natasha’s expression on her face, it’s almost like she was trying to avoid the topic.

“Natasha,” Steve’s tone was quiet and steady, but you couldn’t help but hear the fear behind it. He waited until she was looking him in the eye, Steve already expecting the answer she was going to give. “Where’s Bucky?”

Natasha held her gaze, her expression stagnant, then looked down at the floor. She pulled her hand away from the bed gingerly. “I’m sorry.”

Steve looked back up at the ceiling clenching his jaw to keep it from trembling. The numbness he felt turns to multiple emotions flooding his body at once. Bucky’s  gone, because of him. Steve’s eyes start to sting as emotion rushed through him. Sadness, dread, fear, anger, guilt.

“Steve, we tried to chase the van down, but they were long gone by the time we got to you, I’m sorry.” She looked up at Steve, showing a hint of sympathy. “What happened? Actually, first, why were you out there?”

** Stevie, I would never leave you. **

But he did.

Because of Steve.

“It’s all my fault,” Steve let out a hoarse, deep tone. “I asked him if we could go get coffee, and before we got there they started shooting and just  took him...”

“ Who  took him?” 

Steve looked Natasha straight in the eyes before he gave his answer, “Hydra.”

Natasha said nothing as what happened to Bucky sunk in. Steve couldn’t help but continue.

“I’m the one who got him captured, I could’ve saved him Nat, I was so close-“

“Steve.” Natasha interrupted him, face and tone cool and collected, as always, but with a little bit comfort. “It was not your fault, do you hear me? You did the best you could.”

Steve nodded, “They injected both of us with.. something. I think it was strong enough to weaken our powers we got from the serum.”

“See? It wasn’t your fault. And that explains why your knee is healing slower than it should be. The rate is increasing though, so whatever they gave you must be wearing off.”

Steve said nothing. Minutes passed and Steve was contemplating with himself. He need to tell someone. He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, and it would eat him alive if no one knew the full truth of what happened. 

“Do you want me to get you water?” Natasha interrupted his thoughts, trying to break the silence.

“No, I’m ok.” A few seconds passed. “Actually, um, yes please..”

Nat gave him a small smile as she got up to leave the room. She stopped when Steve spoke up.

“Nat? Actually..” she turned to look at him, waiting for what he was going to say. 

“Can you stay for a minute? I need to tell you something.” Nat processed his face and saw that he was pleading inside, needing company. 

“Yeah, of course.” She sat back down. “What is it?”

Steve swallowed. “Do you know why I took Bucky out earlier?”

Nat hesitated before answering, like she didn’t want to give a wrong answer. “You said you guys were getting coffee, right?”

Steve shook his head, “I just used that as an excuse,” he paused, “I needed to tell him something, and I needed some fresh air.” 

Natasha waited for Steve to continue. 

“I love him,” he looked at Nat, “and now he’s gone.”

Natasha opened her mouth but said nothing. Then quietly, “Did you tell him that?”

Steve nodded.

“Well that’s.. good.” She saw Steve was looking into space, deep in thought. 

“Hey.” Steve blinked a couple times and looked at her. Natasha took his hand. “You’re gonna get him back. Everyone’s going to help you.”

Steve nodded, “We’re gonna get him back.”

“Yes we will.”

* * *

If the Avengers aren’t training, sleeping, or on a mission, they’re looking for Bucky. Natasha pulled out whatever connections she’s had to Hydra and sometimes went out to find people to get information, her way. Clint’s been trying to hit up every mob boss or thug he finds. Tony put out some sort of tracker or satellite to look for anything suspicious, and so did S.H.I.E.L.D., because if Bucky is found, then Hydra is found. Someone was bound to get lucky in the past 6 months.

But, luck does not run well with Hydra.

The atmosphere has been different since Bucky got taken, especially around Steve. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still Steve. But the others have noticed, he’s not... in the right state of mind. He doesn’t crack jokes. When he smiles, it’s rare. Even when Steve seems to be giving his full attention, his eyes look distant, like a part of him was taken with Bucky. 

Two months later, S.H.I.E.L.D. is notified about many hints at Hydra in Washington DC. They send out Steve and Natasha, who seem to be the best for the mission, since it’s more stealth than battle. The good news was they were working among S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters, so they know more about what’s really going on. 

Their first mission was on this ship, which went successful, besides the fact that they didn’t find Bucky. One morning, Steve decided to go on a jog since they were on call for any further instructions from S.H.I.E.L.D.Going on runs always helped Steve clear his mind, especially if he was stressed at the time. There was only one other person at the reflecting pool, which was good for Steve. Too many people just adds to the stress.

He began to jog, which was more like sprinting for a normal person. Steve started to come up right behind the man jogging with him, so he just let the man know he was coming up on his left. The man perked his head to the left, listening to Steve but saying nothing. As soon as Steve passes him, thanks to his enhanced hearing, he heard the man speak under his breath.

“What the..... Captain America?”

Steve slightly grinned, and decided to have a little fun this morning. He passed the man again, who was on the same lap, and repeated his words.

“On your left.”

“Yeah yeah, on my left, got it.” 

Steve sped up.

“On your left-“

“Oh COME ON!”

The man was sprinting after him now, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh. A genuine laugh. The man eventually gave up and stopped by a tree where he put his stuff down for a water break. Steve ran a few more laps and then decided to join him, because, why not?

“Need a medic?” Steve approaches the man sitting against the tree, trying to catch his breath. 

“I need a new set of lungs.” 

Steve held out his hand. “Steve Rogers.”

The man complied and shook his hand with Steve’s. “Yeah I can tell. Sam Wilson.” 

They held a short conversation until Natasha drove up in her black sports car, show off. At least Sam seemed to get a kick out of it, meeting two Avengers in one day. 

“Hey, just cuz I gave you my card doesn’t mean you guys get to show up bloody on my doorstep!” Sam yelled before they drove off.

“What ever you say, soldier,” Steve smirked as Nat revived up her engine, speeding off into DC.

* * *

A week later Sam Wilson heard a knock at his door.

“I ain’t buyin’ what you’re sellin’!” He yelled to the person behind the door. He was answered with a very aggressive knocking, causing Sam to put down his orange juice and answer the door. 

Once he saw who was knocking, he said, “What did I tell you?”

Stood before him were Steve and Natasha, covered in dirt and ash and a little bit of blood.

Steve winced, “I’m sorry.”

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us,” said Natasha, out of breath. Sam let them in, a bit reluctantly, but what jerk would kick out Avengers? Isn’t that like illegal or something? 

“Do what ever you need to do,” said Sam, waving his hand towards the bathroom. “But don’t expect me to let you leave without telling me anything.”

Natasha glared at Sam while Steve just nodded. Forty minutes later, Sam, Steve, and Natasha were sitting at the kitchen table. They filled Sam in about everything that wasn't strictly classified, Hydra, S.H.I.E.L.D., Bucky. 

“Alright,” Sam said after a few minutes of processing this new and complicated situation, “So what’s next?”

Steve and Nat looked confused as they spoke in unison. “What?”

“I wanna help,” Sam leaned back in his chair. 

Steve and Nat responded at the same time. “You serious?” “What can you bring to the table?”

Sam left and came back with a file, sliding it over to the two Avengers. Steve grabbed it first and couldn’t help but mutter a “son of a bitch” when he looked inside. 

“So, you just have this resume lying around for any Avenger who stops by?” Nat asked with a gleam in her eye.

Sam shrugged, trying to keep himself from smirking, “I thought it might be of interest.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on the table, “So, where do we start?” 

Steve sighed and put the file down back on the table, which was immediately taken by Natasha. “We have a lead, Jasper Sitwell. We think he knows something.”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

Steve stared back, “It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Sam shrugged, “Good enough for me. Let’s go beat up some bad guys and get your man back.” 

* * *

Ten months.

Ten months without Bucky. 

It’s been almost a year, but Steve has to stay strong. That’s what he keeps telling himself. We’ll find him. I’ll find him. Soon. Another week. Soon. Another month. Soon. It has to be.

Bucky’s birthday passed. They all celebrated together. Steve made the cake, even though he was horrible at baking, but that’s how they did it back then and every time Bucky would say he wouldn’t want it any other way.

What the others didn’t know was Steve’s piece he took for himself, was actually for Bucky. That night he took it in his room, and talked to it. Telling Bucky everything that’s happened since he’s been gone. What happened in the new episodes of their favorite show, their newest member Sam, how Thor had returned and is helping as much as he can, how he thinks Clint secretly misses getting shot with a water gun full of coffee.

The thought of Bucky actually being dead has crossed everyone’s mind at least once. But they push it away, or convince themselves or others it’s not true. Sometimes Steve’s had to convince the others that Bucky’s not dead, that they took him to experiment on him and wouldn’t want him dead. Sometimes it’s vice versa.

Their closest lead was in DC, which happened to be sort of a dead end. But Steve couldn’t lie to you if he told you his heart jumped when the satellites picked up suspicious activity in DC again. 

“Romanoff, Barton, Wilson, you’re with me,” Steve announced in the briefing room. “Tony, Thor, and Bruce are backup.”

Steve wasn’t “officially” the leader of the team, but he gave off that energy, if you will. Even though no one let on, they knew it was partially how he is coping with Bucky’s absence.

* * *

Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Clint are crammed in a compact car that Clint stole. Steve was swerving on the highway, trying to avoid Hydra’s bullets from hitting them. 

“Couldn’t you have stolen a bigger car?!” Sam, who was sitting right next to Clint, yelled from the back seat.

“What?! I can’t hear you!” 

Sam almost sat up to get shot by the bullets. He signed to Clint, “Turn your hearing aids up, dumbass!”

Clint just rolled his eyes, and yelled back, “Bullets are loud!”

“Hang in there guys,” Steve said calmly. Natasha was in the passenger seat, shooting behind her once in a while out of her window. 

Out of nowhere, Clint’s face lit up and stuck his hand in one of the pockets of his suit. After searching a few pockets he pulled out a compact crossbow.

“The fuck is that??” Sam yelled.

If Clint heard him, he didn’t let on. He pulled out two short arrows and turned around in the back seat. He attached the arrow to the crossbow and stuck the tip of the arrow through a bullet hole in the rear window. He quickly shot and immediately ducked back down to avoid any more bullets. Nothing happened.

“What the fuck are you doing?! You’re gonna get shot!”

Clint just heaved a big sigh and tried again. He shot his second arrow and ducked down immediately. He pulled out a small remote with a button.

Before Sam could ask anything, Clint yelled, “BRACE YOURSELVES!”

He pushed the button and two huge explosions erupted behind them. After the noise and heat died down, Steve only saw one car in his rear view mirror instead of three. 

All three spoke to him at the same time.

“Good job Clint.” 

“Well that’s helpful.”

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU DO THAT EARLIER?!”

“You’re WELCOME!” yelled Clint as he avoided a few more bullets. Then they all heard a loud thump and the top of their car dented in.

“Guys, what was that?” asked Steve.

“Someone’s on the roof?” Steve wasn’t sure if Clint just asked a question or gave a statement.

Suddenly, Sam’s window broke. A metal arm somehow grabbed onto Sam and pulled and threw him out of the window. 

“SAM!” screamed Clint, who was now alone in the back seat. Then they heard Sam’s voice in their coms and let out a sigh of relief.

“Y’all should be glad I had my wings on. You guys deal with our new friend, I’ll get the last car. ”

Steve tried shaking the man-robot off of the roof of the car, but he wouldn’t budge. After a few minutes they heard a crash behind them. With a glance, Steve saw no one was following them anymore. He tried shaking the man off again, but got no result.

“S teve! ” Sam said in his ear, “ Top Gun! ”

Natasha and Clint held on tighter, knowing what Sam was asking Steve to do. Clint put his seatbelt on.

Steve hit the brakes as hard as he could. The man flew off of the top of the car, tumbling on the pavement, and Steve finally got a clear visual of their attacker. It  was a man, and he  did have a metal arm; bright silver with a red star on his shoulder. He had long brown hair, almost to his shoulders, and was in a tight black combat suit. His face was covered by a mask and red goggles, which are now shattered. When he took his goggles off, Steve caught a glimpse of his cold, murderous eyes.

The three of them jumped out of the car when they saw the man pull out a gun. They took cover behind the car, Nat turning to shoot when she can and Clint shooting with his arrow. 

“Your car’s smokin’ pretty bad, I’d get out of there if I were you! ” Sam told the others as he flew back to them.

Natasha and Clint ran to a few other damaged cars on the highway, and Steve, the idiot he was, started running towards the man as he covered himself with his shield.

As if on cue, the car Clint stole from a CVS parking lot blew up. 

“I’m bringing Cyborg to you Steve! ” said Sam. He swooped out of nowhere coming up behind the man and kicked him forward towards Steve. By the time Steve got to the man, he was already on his knees, gripping a pocket knife in his hand.

The man lept up and attacked. He swiped and hit while Steve dodged and blocked. Steve caught another glance of the mans eyes, and noticed something. They were weirdly bright blue; it was almost unsettling, the familiarity that washed over him...

The man gripped Steve’s shield. He got distracted. The man was about to strike when Steve dodged, losing the shield. He threw it towards Steve, who dodged again. Steve only had his arms now to block, and the man had a knife. 

“Someone shoot, damnit! ” Sam called over the coms.

“He’s too close! ” Clint responded.

A wave of adrenaline flooded Steve, and he knocked the man off balance. He kicked the man in the face and sent him backwards. The man was on the ground, and Steve saw his mask laying beside him. Steve was ready to see who it was, ready to see the Hydra scum that’s been helping torment his life for years. The man started to stand up, still looking down. Steve held his stance, anger clouding his brain.

The man looked up. The world around them blurred. Steve saw his eyes, his face, his lips. All too familiar. It... it was...... it couldn’t be.....

“Bucky?”

Something in Bucky’s eyes shifted. A spark of life, warmth. Steve’s heart beat hard against his chest. They found him, he was right here, in front of Steve. They can go home.

The relieve inside of Steve grew as Bucky started to open his mouth. He hadn’t heard Bucky’s voice in so long, he yearned for it. 

What Steve didn’t know was the next words to come out of Bucky’s mouth would shatter him. Steve thought finding out Bucky was dead would be the worst nightmare of his life. But when Bucky spoke, he found himself wrong. Steve discovered something far worse than death, and Steve’s heart sank to the ground, all by hearing only five words.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I'll update the rest of what I have very soon, then it's back to writing
> 
> Also, if you're bummed that Thor is barely getting any screen time, he will have a bigger purpose later in the story..... just you wait, I have many things planned involving him and maybe some other people he knows :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: mention of body scars and malnourishment

It’s the next day and everyone’s in the conference room, all looking at Steve.He’s just told them everything about what happened to Bucky. No one could think of anything to say. Some jaws were dropped, others are just in their own head still processing what they had just heard. Nat was holding Steve’s hand under the table for support.

After another few minutes of silence, Clint spoke first, “Well, at least we found him.”

Nat kicked Clint’s shin from under the table and he tried to suppress an “ow!”

“No, Clint’s right.” Sam spoke up this time. He looked at Steve, “It’s gonna be easier now. We found him Steve, and we know he’s not dead.”

 _He might as well be,_ a small part of Steve thought.

“We’ll pick this up tomorrow,” Steve said tiredly and stood up. “We’re not going to stop until we get him back, understood?”

Everyone nodded, and Steve glad this meeting was over with. “Uhh.... meeting adjourned.”

Steve walked out first, and Nat followed. The others trickled out off to do whatever they were doing earlier. S.H.E.I.L.D. already started searching, and Tony said he’d work with JARVIS right away to help.

Steve found an empty hallway and leaned against the wall, trying to collect himself. This was so much, he didn’t think what had happened was possible. But it was, and now Steve, no, not just Steve, even _Bucky_ didn’t exist to Bucky. He closed his eyes. _In for 4, hold for 6, out for 7. In for 4, hold for 6......_

A body approached him, joining Steve for his wall leaning session. Steve didn’t bother opening his eyes. They just stood there in silence for a few minutes, then the person spoke.

“He’ll remember, Steve,” said Nat, the compassion in her voice surprising Steve. “Were gonna get him back.”

Steve looked over at Nat, who looked up at him at the same time. “I know,” he said. “Because I don’t know what I’m gonna do if we don’t.”

* * *

**Target spotted. Approaching target.** ****

**Attempt one to kill failed. Target is hostile.**

“Bucky!”

**Attempt two failed. Target keeps fighting back. Mentions a subject named ‘Bucky’.**

“Bucky, please! It’s me, Steve!”

**Target thinks I am a Bucky. Target keeps blocking. Enhanced powers detected.**

“Please Bucky! You’re my best friend, you know me.”

“You’re my mission.”

**Target stopped fighting back. Target is vulnerable to complete the mission. Strike ready.**

“I’m with you till the end of the line...”

**Hesitated. Why. Cannot move. Cannot process.**

_Steve?_

“Bucky, please.. you have to remember me.”

**Target thrown against wall. Mission not completed. Must- complete-**

“Remember? Our little apartment in Brooklyn..”

**Target is struck. Strike was restrained from being fatal. Why why why why why why-**

_Steve what’s happening- I- I can’t stop-_

“It’s me Buck, Steve Rogers, your family, you gotta remember Buck...”

_I’m right here! I can’t move! I can’t stop hurting you-_ ****

**Strike. Strike. Strike. Non fatal. Non fatal. Non fatal. Why why why-**

_I CANT STOP. PLEASE STEVE I’M SO SORRY-_

“Bucky....”

**Target weak. Backed away from target. Mission failed. Target not dead. Must get away from target. Must get awa-**

**Attacked. I have failed. I must receive punishment. Punishme........**

* * *

He looked horrible. His hair was down to his shoulders, greasy and tangled. He was so pale, with alarming dark circles under his eyes. Steve and Nat watched through the hallway window of one of the hospital rooms in the tower when the doctors were undressing Bucky to clean him up, still unconscious. Steve almost couldn’t take it when he saw how skinny Bucky was. His ribs were poking out of his chest and even though he was still very muscular, Steve knew he wasn’t exactly fed properly. And the scars... slashes, burns, bullet holes, whip marks were very visible all on his chest and his whole back, as well as some on his arm and legs. After three hours, Bucky was bound in a special bed to hold him, IV’s in his flesh arm.

Steve didn’t notice his hands were shaking. Natasha took his hand in hers, both still looking through the window.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do when he wakes up,” Steve said shakily. “He won’t recognize me.”

“Then you remind him who you are. Who _he_ is,” said Natasha. “Steve,” she turned to face him, and waited for him to do the same. She took a deep breath, “I’m not, per say, a stranger to what happened to Bucky.” Steves eyes slightly widened when Natasha said that. “I know I don’t talk about it, I don’t talk about most things. But I know he’s going to remember, eventually. You have to keep that in mind.”

Steve just nodded. Natasha squeezes his hand. “You should get some sleep, it’s been a few days.” Really it’s been over a week, but neither of them decided to mention that out loud. Nat noticed Steve’s face become concerned and guarded. “Hey, he’s here, okay? We have him, he’s back, and he’s not going anywhere. You should sleep.”

At that, Natasha left Steve’s side and disappeared around the corner. It was just him and his own thoughts now. He had so many questions that he dreaded to answer. _Will_ Bucky remember him? Will he wake up all normal, or is that- _thing-_ still taking over his brain? What if his memory is completely erased? What if he wakes up thinking it’s still the 40’s, before he got captured by HYDRA for the first time? What if-

“Steve.”

Steve turned to his left and saw Sam standing near him, hands in his sweatpants pockets. He was looking at Steve like he was waiting for him to say or do something.

Steve looked back to Bucky. “I’m guessing Nat sent you.”

Steve could see Sam shrug out of the corner of his eye. “That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. C’mon, go to bed man, it’s past midnight. He’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

Steve could feel himself getting tired, but tried to push it away. With no luck, and knowing Nat and Sam will probably get everyone in the tower try to drag him to bed, Steve took one last look at Bucky and slowly stepped away to follow Sam.

“‘Till the end of the line,” Steve whispered to the window before walking down the hallway side by side with Sam.“JARVIS,” Steve said a little louder, “can you let me know when Bucky wakes up, please?”

“Yes sir,” the AI responded. Sam said nothing, and they stepped into the elevator to go to their respective bedrooms.

Bucky woke up two days later.

* * *

Steve has been standing in the doorway for five minutes, but it felt like hours. He didn’t know what to do. Bucky’s been staring directly up at the ceiling and hasn’t said a word, but Steve can tell that Bucky senses his presence.

“Bucky?”

No response. Steve finally took a few steps in the room. He could see Bucky’s face better now, and couldn’t get any read on it. It was just... blank.

“Bucky, it’s me. Steve.”

Still silence.

“Bucky,” Steve stepped closer to the bed. “Can you speak?” Bucky said nothing, and Steve was starting to get desperate. “Speak to me, plea-“

“готов к наказанию.”

Steve took in a sharp breath when he heard the Russian. He felt like this is something Bucky would fool around with, would prank the team with. But this wasn’t a prank, and this wasn’t Bucky. As far as Steve knows, Bucky has been stripped away, and no one knows how much is left.

“C-can you speak English?” Steve asked. No response. Steve painfully realized it seems like Bucky reacts to commands more than questions. “Speak English, Bu-.”

“Ready for punishment,” said Bucky.

Steve froze. “Punishment? What punishment?”

“Failing the mission results in punishment. I have failed the mission.”

Steve didn’t know what to say. Bucky’s body looked relaxed, not like he was about to attack or lash out, so Steve took a step closer to the hospital bed. He tried to hold himself together and looked at Bucky’s face, a face he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again.

“What’s your name? Tell me your name.”

“The Winter Soldier,” Bucky said coldly.

Steve’s heart fell. “No, that’s wrong.” Bucky’s eyes finally looked at Steve, but Steve stood his ground. “I said tell me your name.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched. “The Winter Soldier.”

“No, that’s wrong. Tell me your name. Your real name.” Steve was staring into Bucky’s eyes, pleading in his mind that something changes, something comes back.

“The-“

“No! Your name is not The Winter Soldier. Tell me your name.”

Bucky’s eyebrows started to knit, and Steve saw something in his eyes. There was something there, a faint light below all that darkness, all that cold. But it was drowning, it wasn’t strong enough to fight back. Bucky started to breath harder, his breath getting quicker.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, But everyone calls you Bucky. You were born in 1917. You’re from Brooklyn. You had three sisters and a best friend.”

“No,” said Bucky softly. Steve kept going.

“Yes. My name is Steve Rogers. I’m your best friend since you were six and we went to school together.”

As Steve kept talking Bucky looked away and started pulling at the restraints around his wrists.

“I was small and weak and you were the only one who stuck up for me whenever I got into a stupid fight. You’d always stitch me up and to stop but I never did.”

“Shut up,” Bucky pleaded, still struggling.

“We moved in together when my mother died. You got drafted into the military. The last time we saw each other before the war was at the Stark Expo-“

“I said SHUT UP!” Bucky was using his whole body now to try to break out. Steve’s eyes started to sting, but ignored it. He noticed someone was standing in the doorway now, but ignored that too. He raised his voice.

“Hydra captured you and experimented on you. I saved you when I found out. It was the first time you saw me after I took the serum.”

Bucky started to rapidly speak in Russian. Seeing Bucky in this much pain was breaking Steve, and the person at the door must’ve seen it too because the next thing Steve knew, he was pulled out of the hospital room and down the hall. As soon as they weren’t in earshot of Bucky, they stopped and Steve was gently pushed against the wall.

“Steve, I need you to calm down for me, okay? Breath slowly.” Steve heard Sam’s soothing voice, but it sounded distant. A tissue was placed in Steve’s hand. Steve looked at it confused, and when he did nothing Sam took it back and wiped Steve’s cheeks. He hadn’t even realized tears were streaming down his face.

“Steve,” said Sam, and searches Steve’s eyes until they met Sam’s. Steve’s eyes told Sam all he needed to know. “I’m sorry,” whispered Sam.

Steve’s face crumpled. He buried his head into Sam’s shoulder while leaning on him. Sam responded by wrapping his arms around his friend, comforting him as much as he could.

“Hey, the way Bucky was acting in there? You know that means he remembers. He’s in there Steve. Just give it time.”

“I know,” Steve croaked out. “It hurts so much, seeing him like this.” Steve stood up and looked at Sam.

“You’re not alone, you here me? We all care about you and Bucky, we’re going to get through this together. Remember that.”

Steve nodded.

“I know you want Bucky more than anything right now, but he should rest and calm down. Let’s go upstairs. We can talk to Nat, okay?”

Steve took a deep breath and collected himself. Bucky’s screams ringing in his head, he started to walk toward the elevators with Sam in tow. What he needed out of everything in the world right now was Bucky, but that couldn’t happen until he gets him back.

* * *

“.... and I think he’s been getting better the past few days? I think he’s fighting back less, when I talk to him, about our memories. But... I don’t know if he’s actually remembering, or just listening, or if he stopped fighting because he realized it did nothing, I-“

“Steve. Steve, look at me.”

Steve met eyes with Peggy, not even realizing that he was starting to space off while rambling.

“You’re scared,” she said softly, her British accent washing over Steve like a warm memory. Peggy put her hand over Steve’s. “I know this isn’t easy, hell, it’s far from it. But he’s strong, I would know.” A sweet smile spread on her aged face. “Don’t give up Steve, Barnes.... he’s something you can’t give up. When you two fought together, back in the war, just watching you showed me that you were inseparable.” She gently squeezed Steve’s hand. “He’s still in there, and we both know it.”

“I...” Steve struggled to say it. “I love him, Peggy.”

“I know. And that’s why you’re going to get him back. Now, I do suppose I need my sleep. Next time you come back to visit, it’ll be with James, yeah?”

Steve’s lips curved a little bit into a smile. “Yeah, we’ll come visit, don’t worry.”

“Good. Now get back to your man. He needs you.” Peggy let go of Steve’s hand as he stood up. He bent down to kiss her forehead, like he does every time he visits. She was probably going to forget what she told him tomorrow, but Steve will never forget. He walked out the door with more hope than he had when he walked in.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I started this as an AU on twitter and I’ve gotten pretty far, but I’ve decided to start uploading on to AO3.
> 
> I already have a lot written so I’ll be uploading pretty frequently for now, but this fic isn’t finished yet, so uploads will slow down at some point. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Please leave comments, I always appreciate it and see every comment :) 
> 
> Twitter: seui___


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